I hope you are feeling at bit better today. You already got some wonderful advice from others. What I am about
to say is a personal opinion, just to give my point of view (since that is all I can do right now).
I know this must be really hard to go through for you, but I think it is time for you to let go. With letting go, I mean letting go of the emotional attachment to him, of course I am not saying you shouldn't contact him anymore. But it is quite clear that your emotional well being is connected to him. Since life constantly changes, I found out that attachment will almost always result in some form of pain and loss. Of course, it is easy to misinterpret this. What I don't mean to say is that you should care. There is a fundamental difference between caring for and attaching to. I can explain this if you want to.
Maybe you could also try to look at things from a different perspective. He is clear with saying he only wants to talk to you once a week. Just embrace that fact, without thinking of the reasons behind him saying this, because you don't know them. Speculating can make things so much worse.Two guys were sitting in a restaurant, ordering a meal. However, the service was very slow, and of of the two was becoming increasingly irritated by this. He thought they did it all on purpose, just to annoy him. His mood changed from positive to negative, and when he finally got his food, it was all disgusting, cold, etc. The lights were too bright, the seats uncomfortable. When dinner was over, the two men got a free desert from the restaurant, because of the slow service. The men were told that the cook's brother died just hours ago during a car crash.
What I want to illustrate with this is that sometimes you can't be sure of the underlying motives why something is happening. In this example, the man who thought service was slow just to annoy him took everything personally, and thus wasted his dinner. Maybe your ex-friend has other reasons why he resist talking to you, in this case you can't be sure. Ow, and please stop worrying about
. I am also a medicine student, with a bit of a motivation problem. Last month I constantly worried about
the fact that I needed to study. It made me feel so much worse. Right now I try to look at it from a more objective perspective. For instance, when I feel like I need to study, there is a simple solution for that. Study. And sometimes when I have that feeling that I need to study there are other reasons why not, thus I shouldn't worry about
I know everything I just wrote could sound impossible, easy, harmful, etc. Please note that I only wrote it down for the simple reason that it works so good for me, and sharing it is all I can do to help you. So I hope it helps
All the best CG!
Acceptance is the key
Existential depression and InsecurityTry to keep smiling! :)