I am so confused I don't even know how I can put this in an order that people will be able to understand! I think my relationship might be about to end. I have been seeing my boyfriend for 18 months now & it has been a bit of a rollercoaster but I am head over heels in love with him I really am, so for the last couple of months things have improved tho at times we still seem to be completely incompatible.
Anyway we were on holiday about 2 weeks ago & I said to him jokingly when we were talking about our different interests "i guess we are incompatible really!" I was joking, but he said he knew we were and that we needed to talk about it. So we had a little talk about how neither of us were really making each other happy, but said we'd have a proper talk when we got home. Anyway since then things have deteriorated to the point where we are bickering over the smallest, stupidest of things & where I feel like he is constantly irritated with me.
It is tiring me out so so much. I am sick of crying & being upset & arguing or defending myself all the time. Generally tho, he is such a lovely guy & makes me really happy - but there is always a doubt in my mind if it can really work.
So tonight we are going to talk, I have a lot to say about different things & I am sure he has too, but basically the real dilemma here is that my heart is telling me that I am passionately head over heels in love with this guy, that I want to spend the rest of my life with him & my head is telling me to walk away. I feel that I can't live without him - but I can't live with him either! I think he feels the same about me!
I am crying now even just writing this - coz the thought of leaving him or him leaving me is so hard ( & i'm at work!!! Good job I have my own office to hide in, lol) I just don't know what the future is anymore & i feel scared and lost!!
"The Optimist sees the rose and not its thorns; the pessimist stares at the thorns, oblivious of the rose."
"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, its about learning to dance in the rain"