You aren't rambling, you have some very good points there. Maybe you could explain to your daughter that you are sick and it is hard for you to do things at times. Hopefully she will understand, though you probably have already tried that.
I am sorry that you can't put the things he has done behind you. Has he appologized to you for what he has done? Like I say, some people can't but don't let it control your life. It is so hard when you lose trust. Some men wont even admit what they have done, even if you catch them at it. My first husband was that way. I had a hard time trusting him, but all that did was make me miserable. And paranoid.
I hope that your days get better, keep going to counseling. It sounds like it is helping you.
I am sorry that you have lupus. For some reason I was thinking that you had fibromyalgia. Though there are some similarities in the disorders. Especially being tired all of the time. Do you have a lot of pain? I get pain with fibro, but I have that under control, most of the time. I just live with it I guess.
I hope that you have a good day, keep posting and let me know how you are doing. You deserve to be happy, you are a wonderful person.
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies