This is Kitt, and I am not in a good place to give you advice right now. I do know you need help and you have come to the right place to find members that know what your going through and where your coming from.
I am going to be back home on Tuesday night so I will try to give you some sound adivice then. Meantime, stay in the moment, don't let anything knock you down. There is an answer and we will try to help you find it.