He just about
sums up how I feel right now. How I've felt all day. My RA is currently in a big flare, when I had been in a medication induced remission for 3 months. To say I'm upset is an understatement. It's adding to my depression and feelings of anxiety. I'm short-tempered (more so than usual, which is saying something!) due to pain and fatigue, and I'm so disgusted with my body and my mind. I hate this disease. I hate that my body adapts too quickly to medications, that my RA is counted as severe and aggressive. I'm 21. I shouldn't have limited range of motion in my wrists or be struggling to climb stairs. I go to an aqua therapy class with women over 50 years older than myself and they walk better than I do at the end of it.
My apologies as this is more a rant than anything else. Today I feel so low. I've been hiding all day, not talking to anyone. The thought of speaking to people is distressing. I've just had to go out as I'm on a commitee and as part of my job I have to be at all social events. I left because I was getting some very disturbing thoughts.
Sorry for dumping all this on you. It doesn't need any responses, I just needed to say it somewhere. Almost give it some validation. I have therapy tomorrow, so I'll probably have to talk it through with my therapist then. Thank you.
Post Edited By Moderator (stkitt) : 10/23/2008 4:53:41 PM (GMT-6)