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New Member

Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 10/25/2008 9:03 PM (GMT -6)   
hey guys, im new here
i have not officially been diagnosed with depression..but i do believe i may have it and also anxiety problems.
im in my second year in college, and i really havent made a lot of close friends. i thought this year would be better, but ever since starting a new semester i just feel completely unmotivated towards anything. i sleep about 9-10 hours at night and usually take an hour and a half nap during the day. but i wish i could sleep more. i cant remember the last time i got excited about anything. sometimes i think that i just need to transfer schools, but then i think it would just be the same at any other school. then i think it will be better after i graduate, but then i think about how i probably wont have people to live with or a significant other, etc. afterwards. it seems like theres nothing to look forward. i get stressed out by the littlest things, like when it rains, when people walk too close to me, when i cant be alone in my room, etc. i also have been overeating..and im constantly thinking about food. its ridiculous but i cant stop.
the thing is, my parents arent very accepting about mental health conditions. a relative of mine suffered from depression and they were not understanding at all..they actually got mad at her when she speaked negatively about anything or talked about her depression.
does anybody have any advice on what to do? i just feel so lost..and that my life is so pointless.. i just dont know what to do.

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42531
   Posted 10/25/2008 10:45 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Brunette751,

First of all, welcome to the forum. I am so happy that you have found us.

It sounds like you want to go into hibernation. Wanting to sleep and wanting to eat more. Probably carbs I am thinking. That is what animals do at this time of year. Are you getting much sunshine? Maybe you should talk to your doctor about getting a light box. Also take some vitamin D3. That helps. Other than that, you might want to seek some counseling, it sounds like you are slightly depressed and maybe counseling would help you.

It sounds like you are old enough to deal with this without involving your parents. So I would just check some of these options out. You can always tell them when the time is right. If you talk to them before hand, they might try to talk you out of getting help. Talk to your doctor about the counseling, or get a school counselor to help you. They are easy to talk to and I think that it would help you.

I hope that you feel better soon. Try not to think too far ahead. Take life one day at a time. You never know what the future holds and you are young, so you got a lot of living to do.

Take care, keep posting

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

Regular Member

Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 129
   Posted 10/26/2008 3:02 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi brunette,

I'm sorry college life isn't working out quite as you had hoped. I can totally relate, since I got stuck with a horrible roommate my freshman year of college and thought things would be so much better my sophomore year. But once again, I ended up not liking my roommate or dorm and I felt I wasn't meeting the right people that I wanted to be friends with. I agree with Karen's advice about seeking counseling, since it sounds like you are not coping with the stress in healthful ways. I too tend to overeat when I'm stressed or depressed because I find comfort in food and it just seems like I'm more hungry when I'm sad. However, counseling has helped me design a plan for other things I can do to help me relax and stay focused. Check out your school's student services or health center to see if they have someone you can talk to.

Also, what helped me in college is that I stopped focusing so much on how I was going to meet people and just started getting involved in things that were good for my soul and well-being. For instance, I joined a faith sharing group through a church on campus, started playing intramural sports, and started volunteering through student clubs. I really felt good about staying active and making a difference. And, before I knew it, I was meeting a lot of people who shared my values and interests.

Hang in there and please know that what you are going through is very common. Just focus on making yourself feel good through positive, healthy actions and you will be on your way to feeling much, much better.


Veteran Member

Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 585
   Posted 10/26/2008 4:04 AM (GMT -6)   
Heej Brunette!

I agree with both Karen and NW. Counselling can be a great deal, since the counsellor can give you new insights in life. I can relate to what your saying, since some of the things you describe sound so similar to what I had (and still have). But as NW said, doing positive will make you feel positive. It is as simple as that. The only problem with anxiety and depression is that doing positive can be hard, very hard.
Maybe you could set yourself little and easy goals, like eating just a little bit less than normal, do sports, talk to someone you don't know etc. Fulfilling this goals will make you feel better, because the positive energy of that action will be transferred to you. On thing on this though, I found that it is very easy to blame yourself when you "fail" to achieve even that tiny goals. Blame is no solution, for nothing. It is just an evolutionary handicap giving to us to feel bad when things aren't going the way we want them to go. It serves as a purpose, but since we have consciousness, we can actually train our selves not to feel bad, but rather to experience the feeling, and accept it. That way, we are still aware of the things going on, but we won't have the negativity attached to it. Realizing that can give you an inner calm that will always be there as long as you stay aware.

I have found such a calmness in me. I am in the first year of university, and never been with people of my study outside school times. Sometimes I think people will think of me as a loner, a loser, or whatever. No matter what I think when I am at home, alone, I will always be aware of that inner calm that goes so much deeper than a periodic feeling of sadness or anxiety. That inner silence makes me aware that things aren't bad as long as you don't threat them as bad. Since every question has either a solution which you can pursuit, or no answer at all so that acceptance of that fact is all that is possible. When I am alone now, it is ok, since I can always call others when I feel I need that, even though I am not sure they like me.

And about that motivation problem, I have the same with my study at the moment. I, however, found one thing that has my unconditional love and attention, it is called music. Music is where I fall back to when things aren't going well on the outside. Are there things you always wanted to do? Things you always loved to do? If so, start doing them again. Start thinking of stuff that used to make you happy, and do it. Do it, and see the affect it will have on you.

All the best Brunette, and good luck with your study!
Acceptance is the key

Existential depression and Insecurity

Try to keep smiling! :)

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 2408
   Posted 10/26/2008 7:17 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Brunette,

Have you seen a psychologist about this? It sounds like there are a lot of maladaptive thought processes going on that need 'ironing out'. I dont think changing the situation is going to help you at the moment, but rather changing how you see it.

Everyone has a guardian angel. They help pick you up when you fall, comfort you through your times of need and help you appreciate the times when things are going well.
"A gold medal is a wonderful thing. But if your not enough without it, you will never be enough with it." - Irvine Blitzer (John Candy) in Cool Runnings
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Co-Moderator - Depression Forum
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