Ow.., I hope I haven't hurt you more with what I wrote...
I know what you are going through with not having anyone to say it to, I had the same. I always though a girlfriend would be the solution to all my problems, because that would be the one to tell everything to, and to receive comfort from. Boy, I was wrong. Of course, a partner would be great, but only because you will be sure that person wants the best for you. And that is something a lot more on this planet have. It took me a while to find them though, because I was still very cautious. But once I tried
opening myself up to others by just throwing in the group that I was struggling with depression, I received so much love back, it was unbelievable. And if I can get it, there is no way you can't.
Maybe you haven't got close friends to talk to, but we are here online, and that also works. If you rather talk to someone, there are also members here willing to give you a call (at least, I am, or is this against the rules?
Something rather different now, can you think of any things you always liked doing? If so, start doing them again if you quitted doing them. A hobby, something to take your mind off of the problems, can be such a great help. A lot of people of my age (I am also 18) are going out to town in the evenings etc. I never liked that very much, too anxious. Now that I discovered music I will just stay at home and play keyboard, or compose a song. And that social isolation worked in the opposite way. Rather than getting less friends, I got a whole bunch more, since I am finally beginning to act as myself.
My keyboard and music equipment is located under my bed, so I have a little music corner to return to when things turn too much to handle. My little place of peace, maybe you can create something similar.
I hope things will become better for you. And I will be in chat for the next hour or two, so feel free to join in if you have something to say
Take care Princess!
Acceptance is the key
Existential depression and InsecurityTry to keep smiling! :)