I sorry to hear about what you went through, and are still going through. There was one line that I picked up especially on, where you said you feel flat, and can't really enjoy things. I'm not sure if it my anti-depressants (although I have a strong suspicion it is), but I also have a really flat affect. I never really thought about it until one day a couple of years ago, I went out with a group of co-workers, and I was a little looser than normal, and one of the women with the group was so surprised by my behavior. She said that she was always waiting for me to show a little more emotion. The job at the time was at a residential center for teens, so it was kind of my job to be calm and not be overly emotional. I think that training stuck with me, because I'm still flat a lot of the time. I'm hesitant to change up my meds, because at least I'm not depressed, and it would be a bad thing if I tried something else that didn't work. I've been taking anti-ds for so long, when I go off them, I can really tell the difference. I think at my next Dr appt, I'll bring it up, see what he has to say. The idea isn't just to be not depressed, but to be able to experience the full range of emotions without the high peaks and valleys.
Good luck, and let us know how all the meds are helping. Have you trying each med separately, or is it one giant cocktail? That sure seems like a lot of anti-ds to be on at once if that is the case. Have faith that your doctor is trying their darnedest to help you.
36 y.o. male
Diagnosed w/ moderate UC in May '06
Meds & supplements:
Asacol, Florastor, VSL#3, Wellbutrin XL, Prozac, multi-vitamin, Allegra, Lialda, Colocort, Prednisone, flaxseed oil, L-glutamine.