Hey there everyone, this is the first time I have ever posted on any forums concerning my health but with the events of the last few months and the new medications I am on I really feel like I need to talk to someone. I have actually writen a 34 page paper about
myself and depression and whats its like too suffer from it, that has been my vent as of late. Recently I had a attempt and was hospitalized for a week. In the hospital they put me on three new medications
I have been reading through the forums and browsing different sites about
these medications and have come to learn exactly how addicting they are and how terrible their side effects and withdrawal symptoms can be. I am scared because on one level I do not care if I am or become addicted so long as I am no longer in a tormented state of depression. Yet on another level I am terrified of what it will be like to be...happy? normal? Change is not something I handle well and I have had sev. depression untreated for almost 8 years. I am sitting here honestly wondering what is better, being unmedicated and dealing with my depression as I always have or accepting these meds and accepting the fact that in essence I shall become a Slave to them because of their high demands on what I can and cannot do.
I have had a side effect of Mania because of the Cymbalta twice now. And the low dose dependency caused by Klonopin is absolutely terrifying. Also I have a general appathy twords life, I don't know if that's because of my attitude or because of the medications.
I take all three medications around 10-12pm and within 1 hour I pass out *due to the Seroquel I think*, and most nights I will sleep threw alarm clocks or wake up and just pass back out. I have failed this semester of college due to absences and my relationship with my ex *currently trying to get back together, we split apart because of the depression* is on and off. Some days I am great and happy and we go out and do things, other days are days like today where I feel overwhelmed and scared. I really don't know what I expect from posting this, but I guess advice and help mainly. Thanks for listening
Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 11/12/2008 5:24:09 PM (GMT-7)