Not quite sure what to do

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New Member

Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 15
   Posted 11/14/2008 1:29 PM (GMT -6)   
Hello everyone. I'm in desperate need of some advice, and was told by my dr to find an online support group, so here I am. This is kind of a long story, so I'll start at the beginning.

I'm 25 years old, been married for 4 years and have a 3-year-old daughter, who is the light of my life. I was diagnosed with depression a few weeks ago, after what feels like a million tests, ranging from a thyroid panel to tests for anemia. I started taking Wellbutrin a few days later, but was taken off of it after a week, because I just happened to be in the 5% of people who get serious heart problems while taking it. I was placed on Prozac earlier this week, and I feel absolutely terrible on it. The exhaustion has increased dramatically, and I find I'm more irritable than usual, which is really saying something.

For the past five years things have gotten really bad for me, especially in the past year. My parents are getting a divorce, my brother has been in and out of jail, and my marriage is falling apart, which I know is probably my fault. I am not an easy person to live with. I get frustrated easily, and I can't stop myself from yelling as soon as I get upset. I have terrible mood swings, from being fairly happy one minute to snapping at everyone the next. In the past few months all I can think about is that everyone would be better off if I was dead. I made the mistake of saying that to my husband, who immediately came home from school to make sure I didn't "do anything stupid," as he put it. I feel completely worthless all the time. I snap at the drop of a hat, and make everybody miserable. Some days aren't all bad. I have the energy and motivation to clean my house, or play with my daughter. But the majority of the time I have absolutely no motivation. Even taking a shower some days is a chore. I know if this keeps up my husband will leave me, and I'll have nothing left.
He believes that this is something I should be able to control, like when I snap I should be able to calm myself down. Even as I'm yelling I know, in my head, that I'm being completely irrational and I should stop, but I can't. We got into a terrible fight last night, and once I calmed down I went to him and apologized, and tried to explain to him that I honestly can't stop myself. He said "Isn't it convenient that now you have an excuse never to be at fault for anything." That shocked me, because normally he's so supportive of this, and does anything he can to help me. But I think I really screwed up last night. I don't know what to do.

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42503
   Posted 11/14/2008 6:46 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Peace,

I am going to call you Peace because that is what we will strive for. Welcome to HealingWell. I believe that you are going to find this a very helpful place to come. We will help you with our experiences and as much advice as we can.

First of all ...relax. Let's put the past behind us and start with a clean slate. You know that you are showing your anger and can't control it, that is a start. A lot of people can't see that far when they are depressed. So now that you know what the problem is, let's work on stopping it. When you feel yourself getting out of control, you should try some breathing exercises. Slow deep breathing, in through the nose and out through the mouth. It is called smelling the roses and blowing out the candles. That will calm you down enough to catch your behavior before it starts. Know that this is something that you haven't been able to control, but you are going to get a grip on it.

Prozac can take four to six weeks before you feel it's full effects. So give it a chance. I think that your moods are a part of the depression and they will gradually change with the use of the medication and your thinking process.

Try to stay in the now. Don't beat yourself up for what has happened in the past. And try not to worry about the future. Only think about the moment at hand.

Most of all, keep coming here. There are a lot of wonderful members who have been through the same as you. And they are so kind and compassionate. They will listen and help you in any way that they can.

And love yourself. That is so important. I know things feel helpless and hopeless, but they aren't. This is the depression causing you to feel this way. You are a wonderful person and you should treat yourself that way.

Keep on keeping on. We are here for you.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

New Member

Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 11
   Posted 11/14/2008 10:36 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi, peace

my mom suffered with depression about 6 years ago for her what helped was God, we found a church in la and we started going shes totally different now she was liberated from her symptoms... my advice would always be God.

like Karen said love yourself first so you can beat your depression symptoms, I can see there's lot's of problems we go thru but look at the things you have to live for I think everything always has a solution... like I always say the rain will pass and the sunshine will come.. my prayers are with you...
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