Post Edited (wishdreamhope) : 11/15/2008 9:11:29 PM (GMT-7)
Welcome to HealingWell. I understand your feelings as I know many of the members will also.
I would like to suggest you work on your depression first. There are other ways to get a break and find some time for yourself. Starting a new job may be one of the most stressful things you can do.
Have you ever tried journaling........?
I know your in between insurance but have you ever tried CBT therapy. There is an online free site that many members have used and have had wonderful luck with it.
Cognitive-behavioral therapy is based on the idea that our thoughts cause our feelings and behaviors, not external things, like people, situations, and events. The benefit of this fact is that we can change the way we think to feel / act better even if the situation does not change.
Just click on the link.
Relaxation techniques: Try deep breathing, muscle relaxation, visualization (imagining peaceful scenes), and/or listening to soothing music.
Realistic self-talk: While we can't always control what happens to us, we can always control what we say to ourselves. It's important to keep things in perspective. Talk to yourself in reasonable ways. Ask yourself "how likely is my fear?" Remind yourself that you have coped before during other challenging times. Don't just dwell on the negative but consciously look for things you can appreciate every day.
Make an effort to stay focused on what's happening now. What do you see, hear, and smell? How do you feel? Truly be 'present' in the moment! That will help you keep the anxiety/depression down.
Is there anything you wanted to do but never got round to? A hobby you wanted to start? Throw yourself into it and don't look back. How about volunteer at a place you have an interest in? Volunteer work also looks good on a resume'.
Again welcome and take care
Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression& GERD Forums*~*
Post Edited (wishdreamhope) : 11/17/2008 8:28:39 AM (GMT-7)
I am so proud of you for clearly recognizing what you need to do and in what order. You mention your son often and what better insensitive could you have then a little one who loves you unconditionally. You are obviously a great Mom and the day care is a good idea. It does give you the time to make appointments, and go to your appointments.
Depression is a disorder that none of us want. But we can't just wish it away, I have tried, so we look it in the eye and deal with it.
Keep talking to us sweetie. We are here for you.
Thank you all again for the replies. I want the help because I really just can't do this anymore and I know it's a good thing to recognize that. It's affecting me as a whole, it's affecting my son, it's affecting my parenting and my relationship. I feel like I can't live my life the way I want to or be the person I so deperately want to be without getting all this straightened out first. And looking back I realize that I didn't get the help that I really needed a year ago. I try to take my son to the park every once in a while but it's hard to get the motivation to get out. I do take him to a mommy and me class once a week. He has so much fun being around other kids.
I mention my son a lot because I do worry about him, sometimes I feel like I don't do enough for him. And I do feel guilty about putting him in daycare but I really think he needs it. I can't provide what a daycare can. He will get so much out of it!
Anyway, it really helps to get the supporting words from everyone. My boyfriend will be on vacation next week and we are going out of town for 2days. Renting a cabin and just soaking in the outdoors. We haven't gone anywhere for pleasure in a long long time. We actually just relocated to a different area because the rent is cheaper, we were really struggling where we were originally. But now we are so much better off that it's allowing us to finally get away. Of course our son is coming too, he never gets to go anywhere either. I'll be looking forward to just having my boyfriend around for once. It's weird because I feel like I'm a different person when he's around because I don't think and my mind doesn't run. It's like I have no worries when he's here and I'm able to relax.
Taking a few days away should be good for you. No worries, remember to stay in the moment. Don't worry about yesterday and tomorrow will take care of itself so live in today.
I am proud of you and I know you are going to learn how to deal with this depression, asking for help is a hard thing to do but the right thing. You are a great Mom and I believe you have the strength to get through this tough time.