STILL DEPRESSED AND CAN'T MAKE UP MY MIND
I want to thank the three of you who anwered my cry for help.I will answer each of you back in a seperate paragraph addressed to you: getting by/Pamela neckpain/and stkitt.
This on is to getting by;
That you for being there for me as you have always been.I feel like I know you,that is why I keep addressing my depression e-mails to you,first and there are times when others answer as well,which I enjoy.
I do feel a litlle bit better today,but not much.I am still depressed,confused,hurting,and what ever else can go wrong.A long with the rest of my problems,I had to go my primary doctor yesterday,as now I have a U.T.I. What next is going to go wrong with me.
My husband told me this morning that I have to go over to my daughters for Thankgiving,becasue if I don't then my handicap son will be disappointmented and will be hard to handle.I guess I don't have much of a choice.I do know that my heart will not be in it and I will not be good company.I will just try to stay out of everyones way,and act like the black silent sheep and no one will notice me.
I am not feeling all that great today.I don't know if is because all I went through yesterday and because of my new problem.I stayed in bed until 11:00 this morning as I did not want to get up and had to think of a reason to get up.
With that I have going on,it sure has taken away from my holiday spirit.That much I know.
Well that is all for this time,and thanks for being there for me.I hope that you and your family have a good Thanksgiving.
Hugs and Prayers San's (Sandy)
This one goes to Pamela neckpain;
How can you say,lucky us with the holidays apon us.When I feel like this,it takes away my holiday spirit away,and I don't feel like doing anything.I guess I am lucky in one way though.My Christmas shopping is done,so that is out of the way.It is just a matter of decorating and putting up the tree.Last week I was in a great holiday spirit and could not wait to put the tree up.Now I do not care if it goes up or not.I don't like the way I feel when I get like this.I feel like I am two different people when I get this low.
I have four kids of my own,one step son,eleven grand children who are from the age of twenty three,down to six months.My great grand son weight almost eleven pounds when he was born.He will one year old on December 27th.My handicap son is 34 years old,but has the mentalaty of a 13 year old and takes things hard and cries easy like I do.He is the one that I worry about.
As far as going over to my daughters for Thanksgiving,it looks like I am going to have to go anyway.My handicap son will be there and if I don't show up,he will be a handful to handle,and will diisrupt the whole day.I will just myself scarce and find a corner and stay in it,and maybe people will not notice me.But at the same time,my daughter can read me like a book.I know that will ask questions if I don't mingle with the rest of the people.I will go and do my best to be happy,but I know that will not happen.
I don't smoke,so I can't use that excuse,and there is no smoking in her house,even though she smokes.So I am stuck inside the whole time.I just don't want to stay there very long.I just want eat,have dessert and leave.
Well that is all for this time.Thank you for answering me.I hope that you and your family have a great Thanksgiving.
Hugs and Prayers
This one is to stkitt;
My surgery was a permanent colostomy,and I have been having problems ever since.I was not told that I would have any of these problems after my surgery.But how ever my problems have gotten worse.
I live here in West Virginia,where there are no specialist to speak of,so that is why I have to travel so far,to see a specialist in the area of problems that I am having.I have been to Winchester,W.V.,Morgantown,W.V.,Pittsburgh Penn.and that is where I will be going again on the 9th of January to see another specialist.I feel like I am chacing a toronado,and am having no luck finding it.
My husband told me this morning,that I pretty much have to go to my daughters for Thanksgiving,or my handicap son,will disrupt the whole day,if I am not there.I am hope to get there in time to eat,then have dessert and leave.I will find a corner and stay in it while I am there.I don't want to be around all of those people and all of that noise.I will guess I will just have to make the best of it,and try not to let how I feel bring down everyones elses happiness.Although my daughter can read me like a book,so she will know that there is somethlng wrong with me,and she had no patience with me at all.
That is all for now.Thank you for responding to my cry for help.I hope that you and your family have a great Thanksgiving.
Hugs and Prayers
San's ( Sandy )