That is such a pretty name. First of all, I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my father when I was just a little one, three years old. I don't remember him but his absence was a large factor in how my life turned out. I have been affected by depression most of my life and for a long time felt like I would die at the same age he did which was 21. I have beat that age twice over, lol. At 21 I had to face my fear of death and my depression over his leaving by having a 'talk' with him. They are never really gone so long as there is a connection there, however slight. A memory, a picture, others memories and stories about
them. And we are assured by the word of God that there is a life beyond this one. I had to face my feelings and deal with them, it can be in a letter to your dad, or just a talk out loud to him. It gets your feelings out there, takes care of the unfinished business that you were not able to take care of before his passing. There will be tears, but there is a release afterwards. Also a good grief support group is a good idea, there you will find others who have felt like you do and you will realize you are not alone. If you cannot find a grief support group you might seek out a minister or pastor who you can share your feelings with. Dealing with grief is a process and it will take time, it does get better. Doesn't go away completely, because there will always be that empty spot in your heart, but the pain will not always be so intense.
Huggs to you Kellylyn. That name makes me think of bright warm sunshine, and I believe you will be there again, out of the shadows and into the sunshine. God Bless you! ..........Ryn
DX: Fibro, Diabetes, CF, Clinical Depression, Seizure disorder, Arthritis.......and all the fixin's, lol