Welcome to HW!
I am also an 18-year-old who is struggling to get a gf
. Over the years without one I've began to think about
it, and I realized I wouldn't have been a good friend if I got a gf 3 years ago. So I put trust in the fact that once I can be a good friend, it will happen. The main "obstacle" to overcome before I could ever be a good partner is that I should be able to completely accept and love myself for who and what I am. Something quite hard, which seems to bother you as well. So maybe you should take a break from whatever you are doing and start to discover yourself. Li said it already.
Once you can be happy with yourself, there will be no reliance on outside factors for that happiness. It wouldn't matter whether you had a gf or not, you will be happy with both. And though that might sound egocentric or not caring, I believe that it is the best possible for the entire planet. Happiness is contagious and will effect everyone around you.
Are you visiting a counsellor or support groups or anything like that Koby? And is there depression in your family (depression has a strong genetic base)?
I hope to hear from you again, and take care!
Acceptance is the key
The World is but a reflection. Smile, and it will smile back.Try to keep smiling! :)