Inconsistent behavior

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New Member

Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 12
   Posted 12/3/2008 10:00 PM (GMT -6)   
Hello everyone,
Feels like a roller coaster ride and I need some insight if possible.  The last few days has seen my wife behave inconsistently.  We had a really good night on Monday.  She actually showed some affection to me (though it seemed a little forced...but I'm not complaining).  The next morning she was once again indifferent towards me.  But then she asked me to go to dinner and we had a great night.  Ate out and went shopping.  Even went out for dessert.  Held hands entire time and felt great.  We got home and she was once again indifferent towards me.  Today, I've texted her many times and left her a few VMs but no response from her.  This is leaving me extremely confused and I'm not sure what to make of it.  I guess my question is "Is it behavior common?"  Should I expect this to continue going forward?  Any insight would be greatly appreciated.  Thank you.

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42531
   Posted 12/4/2008 8:54 AM (GMT -6)   
If she is showing some affection and you are doing some things together, that is great! But yes, there is going to be inconsistant behavior. I would embrace the good days and try to understand the bad ones. Maybe this is a sign that she is getting better, lets pray that it is.

One day at a time my friend. Like I say, enjoy the good days.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

Veteran Member

Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 585
   Posted 12/4/2008 9:35 AM (GMT -6)   
Heej Love,

Your story suggests that she still love you. Depression can, and will often, lead to a feeling of uselessness and things like that. When I am in a depressed mood, I try to hide from others as much as I can, because I am so unhappy with myself. I guess your wife has something similar. I think for now the best thing you can do is to keep showing her your love and care, and get through this together. When she is ignoring you, the chances are pretty high that her depression is ignoring you, not her. So making it very clear that you love her and no matter what she does you will always be there can be such a great help.

I believe that one day you will be alright, and everything that happened will be worth the effort.

Have a wonderful day!
Acceptance is the key

The World is but a reflection. Smile, and it will smile back.

Try to keep smiling! :)

Elite Member

Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 12/4/2008 11:48 AM (GMT -6)   

The wise ones who have posted before me are right on.  If you don't have depression you don't  understand how we can feel really good and then just feel down again.

Trust me if we could feel good all the time, we would.

Give her space but also give her love.



Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
& GERD  Forums
*~* *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources

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