Please do call your friends or come here and just let your feelings out. You are with a family of loving members that have gone through your experience and still cry for their loved ones many years later. It is ok.
I know I used to get mad when people told me "it will get better in time". It does not make your loss easier but time dulls the pain.
Do you have a grief counselor, ask your teacher as they usually have access to a list of counselors?
Let those tears out, and they will come in buckets sweetie, that is normal. I had red eyes for months.
This time of year I still grieve for my loss and wonder how things might have been different.
Take our hands and let us help you.