Saturday was the service for my brother, who died on Friday November 28th, 2008 at 14 years old. After the funeral, I could not stop myself from crying I kept holding on to my father and crying inconsolably. At least in the hospital and at the wake I was able to hold his hand or something. I dont know. Sometimes I am joking around and I feel absolutely nothing, almost like nothing at all happened and he is just at school. Then suddenly I cant stop crying, I realize he is not coming back and hes gone. My teacher gave me her phone number to call her if I was feeling really bad. I called her when he was in the hospital, then when they ran the tests, then when I found out he died. I was crying each time and I went through the same ordeal with her, just crying and wishing he was back. I dont know who to talk to, Im afraid to call her because Im sure shes had enough of me and my crying. I dont know, sometimes I just dont even act like hes gone ,I get mad at myself because it makes me feel like I dont care. Im so confused, I keep remembering him in the hospital, it feels detached though, I really just think hes at school or hes out with his friends, I dont know. What am I supposed to do?? I can't keep interrupting peoples lives for my crying. I need to talk to someone, what am I supposed to do. Hes gone, I cant grasp that.