Just had this strange energy to fight my depression today, I woke up at 11AM and did a lot of things today, which is very odd considering I have bin sleeping upto 18 hours a day for the past month or so , I spoke to my doctor, and to one of my closest friends, went out with my dad for a conference and saw a movie. usually I wake up at 8PM or even as late as 10PM and do nothing but eat and watch TV or internet. I have bin very misrable this past month, and feel very guilty because of it, I want to change so bad, I want to find a job so bad, I want to wake up in the morning everyday, I feel like I'm walking dead person waiting for his funeral.. I really want to change but I don't know how.
Every month or so , I have 1 day where I get energy to do things.. and I don't want this day to end, because when I go to sleep and wake up next day I fear I will go back to my destructive pattern again....
Please I need your prayers so that I wake up tomorerow feeling energetic.. I want to go to the gym tomorerow something I haven't done that for over 3 years, and I also want to see some of my friends..
But I'm scared of falling asleep, waking up and be misrable again... not wanting to do anything...
Sorry, just needed to vent out I'm feeling good today but I don't know if this will last.. I don't know what tomorerow will bring.. what is going to happen to me.. or how I am going to fight this depression..
life is so difficult sometimes..
To be or not to Be