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New Member

Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 12/22/2008 4:26 PM (GMT -6)   
I'm new to this forum. Just registered today, actually.

I don't know if it'll make any difference at all, but I decided to give it a try. My name is Emily and I've had depression since I was nine years old. I'm almost fifteen now and, like most things, it's gotten harder with time. My father thinks I've just been 'acting this way' to get attention. My mother thinks that she understands. She throws stories at me about how she went to group therapy and how it really helped. But I can't seem to connect with her. Whenever she tries to talk to me, it's too weird. I have problems with insomnia most nights. I won't go to bed until four in the morning in some cases. I cry for hours, even when nothing's really the matter.
I have the most amazing friends, one of which has the same problem as I do. And we talk about it sometimes. And I feel better after we do. It's not weird talking to her like it is with my mother. But there are days when she isn't having such a bad day and I am and I would feel guilty bringing it up because it would ruin one of her rare happy days.

Nothing just ever seems to be enough. And I don't think it will ever be. The people who talk with me about this make me feel guilty, telling me that other people have it much, much worse and it's not right for me to feel this way. But I can't stop feeling this way.

I might make a fool of myself by posting this. Maybe people will laugh at me for throwing myself out there. But I guess I have to try.
Edit: Sorry I had to edit your post for content. 
1. No discussion of any illegal activity or threats of violence. (ie. illicit drug use, including medical marijuana use, threats of suicide or self-injury, or threatened or intended physical harm).  Discussions of suicide or self-harm that are deemed negative and therefore potentially injurious to others are also not permitted.
Thank you for your understanding.

Post Edited By Moderator (stkitt) : 12/22/2008 4:18:20 PM (GMT-7)

Elite Member

Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 12/22/2008 6:23 PM (GMT -6)   
Hello and welcome to HealingWell.  I am sorry you are having so many issues at once and that you are not able to talk to your folks.  From what you wrote your Mom will talk with you but your not comfortable talking with her. Your Father and You sister belittle your disorder which of course is very painful for you.
Can you talk to your school counselor or go to visit your physician?
Talking to others who have the same issues and are harming themselves are not the best ones to help  you through this depression.
We have other teens on here that have the same problems as you do, I hope one of them responds to you.  You are so very young to be going through so much pain.
WE are here so keep talking to us.
Gentle Hugs


Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
& GERD  Forums
*~* *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42524
   Posted 12/22/2008 6:28 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Lividnightmare,

I would just like to welcome you to HealingWell and touch on a couple things here. This is truly a wonderful place to come and open up. The members here are very supportive.

As for talking with your mom. I think that she has a point about the counseling. If you don't want to do group, how about one on one. It really does help to find somebody who understands.

i am sure that there are other people that do have it worse than you or I, but we are stuck within ourselves and being depressed is no fun.

I hope that this helps in some small way. Life gets hard, but we can beat it. Just keep trying and do try to listen to your mother, it might feel wierd, but it does sound like she understands some.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

Veteran Member

Date Joined Feb 2005
Total Posts : 616
   Posted 12/23/2008 3:55 PM (GMT -6)   
Hello LividNightmare,

I have to agree with getting by here, your mother cares about you don't hide what you feel from her just because it feels weird to talk to her, you got to put some effort into it, and the one-on-one counseling sounds good..

remember don't be shy about talking to your mum or a specialist about this, this is your life and it's no fun to be depressed, it is good to fight this out and find a solution to improve your life.

good bless you and merry chrismas
                                                     To be or not to Be

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