Hi, First off Merry Christmas!
I am very new to this, I am usually a quiet shy person who keeps everything to myself. Im not very open and I find it hard to talk about my feelings. I am almost 19 years old and I have been depressed for about 4 years. I recently went to therapy but I quit going as the counsiller made me very uncomfortable. I was sexually abused when i was a child and about a year ago i finally started to understand what exactly happened. It brings me down almost everyday. I am in a relationship we have been together almost a year, but unfortunatly things are rocky at the moment. I keep having very noticable mood swings, where i will be fine and happy then within minutes i am raging mad and upset. I cried for a good hour tonight and no matter how hard i thought about it i couldnt figure out why. I have talked to my doctor and he gave me an option to go on meds, but i turned them down as i dont want to rely on them. After reading some of everyones posts i have reconsidered and decided that maybe i should go on some.
I dont know how to explain it all to my bf and i believe he is getting to the point where he cant deal with my actions. I have a tendency of blaming him for getting angry. I apologize but it doesnt help much. I would like to seek professional help, at the moment though i can not afford it.
I just dont know what to do at the moment..