Trying something new....

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New Member

Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 12/25/2008 8:17 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi, First off Merry Christmas!
I am very new to this, I am usually a quiet shy person who keeps everything to myself. Im not very open and I find it hard to talk about my feelings. I am almost 19 years old and I have been depressed for about 4 years. I recently went to therapy but I quit going as the counsiller made me very uncomfortable. I was sexually abused when i was a child and about a year ago i finally started to understand what exactly happened. It brings me down almost everyday. I am in a relationship we have been together almost a year, but unfortunatly things are rocky at the moment. I keep having very noticable mood swings, where i will be fine and happy then within minutes i am raging mad and upset. I cried for a good hour tonight and no matter how hard i thought about it i couldnt figure out why. I have talked to my doctor and he gave me an option to go on meds, but i turned them down as i dont want to rely on them. After reading some of everyones posts i have reconsidered and decided that maybe i should go on some.
I dont know how to explain it all to my bf and i believe he is getting to the point where he cant deal with my actions. I have a tendency of blaming him for getting angry. I apologize but it doesnt help much. I would like to seek professional help, at the moment though i can not afford it.
I just dont know what to do at the moment..

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42528
   Posted 12/25/2008 8:32 AM (GMT -6)   
It might be a good idea to try what the doctor says. But be patient because it can take four to six weeks for medications to reach full effect. Check into free counseling. There are programs for people with no insurance and low income. That might work.

I hope that you feel better soon.

Welcome to HealingWell. There is a wonderful group of members here who are very kind and compassionate. Keep posting as we are here for you.

Luv and hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

Elite Member

Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 12/25/2008 9:24 AM (GMT -6)   

Good Morning overthetop,

Merry Christmas to you too.  Welcome to HealingWell and the Depression forum.

I agree, revisit your physician and do try to find some sort of therapy if you can?  Are you in school?  Does the school have a counselor?

Check out The MoodGym free CBT online counseling.  Many people use it including myself.

Here is the link:

Take care and keep talking to us.

Again a warm welcome



Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
& GERD  Forums
*~* *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources

Veteran Member

Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 585
   Posted 12/25/2008 9:46 AM (GMT -6)   
Overthetop, a merry Christmas to you!

Scientific results have shown that 70% of the patients respond positive to anti-depressants. This is around 70% for every anti-depressant, so trying out more will give you an even higher chance.

But you can also try to improve at least some things without medications or counselling. I think Christmas is the perfect time to think about blaming others (not the actual blaming, rather the mechanisms behind it). Blaming is a result from fear. It can be the fear of losing someone, the fear of someone judging you in a bad way, etc. Blaming is not accepting the situation. Christmas is about love and compassion, which are the opposites of blame and fear and anger. I mean, if you love someone, truly love someone, you want that person to be happy right? I think that is what true love is, wanting the very best for the other. If you want the very best for the other, you can't blame them, since that is negative. I am NOT saying you don't truly love your bf, oh no. But if you agree with what I say, you can try to become aware every time you blame him (or anyone else). You can then take a second to think of the consequences, think about loving him, and eventually stop the blaming. In turn, you will transfer love and warmth. You reap what you sow, and your bf, or anyone else, will give you love and warmth back.

Christmas is exactly that time, the time we give love to each other, to everyone, regardless what they have done. Why not make it Christmas all year long?

Take care, and have wonderful day!
Acceptance is the key

The World is but a reflection. Smile, and it will smile back.

Try to keep smiling! :)

New Member

Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 12/25/2008 11:00 PM (GMT -6)   
I have decided to talk to my doctor about meds, myabe they will help, i hope they do anyways.
Thank you Kitt for the link to MoodGYM, in the first few minutes I learned a lot about how i am feeling. I believe the site will help me cope through this and heal.
Ive noticed for a long time that i play the blame game. I blame everyone else for the mistakes i make but deep inside i feel that everything is always my fault. That leads to anger and i end up getting mad over nothing and taking it out of proportion. For some reason i always overreact to simple things and i have tried not to but it doesnt seem to work.
I would also like to say that I am truly relieved and happy that I found this site, I did not realize that other people were going through the exact same thing as myself. Thank you all for the support it means a lot!


getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42528
   Posted 12/25/2008 11:05 PM (GMT -6)   
Hello Overthetop,

Isn't the moodgym wonderful?

I think that now that you have recognized what you are doing, you will be able to work on changing your actions and reactions. It is a matter of practicing it. But you know now what you need to do in order to be happy.

I am so happy for you. I am glad that you have found this site. Keep posting as we are here for you.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

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