For me personally, my belief in God and faith in Him is a great comfort. I know this is not a forum for religious debate, and im not trying to convert you to a new belief system, its just that in my case, my spiritual faith keeps me going when the going gets rough. I hope you can find the peace you are looking for.
I think the fact that you are asking this question is a healthy sign and shows your heart is reaching for a deeper meaning that we all need in life. I know you don't believe in God, as you said so and I understand that faith isn't something we can not force ourselves to have. But yes, I do have a suggestion. Just put this request out there: "God if You are real, then show me who You are..." If there is a place in your heart from which to just put that question 'out there' I believe you'll get an answer.
My dad was catholic, my mom was lutheran. So I always had a church background. However, I didn't know God cared about me in a personal way through what I learned in church. And the religion I grew up around wasn't enough to ease my fears or depression either. I needed a God who would make a tangible difference in my life. After a year and a half of looking into many belief systems and much searching, I had a very simple but powerful encounter sensing His presence while praying with a believing friend. That day changed everything, and the depths to which I had known depression now were the depths to which I knew joy. It was the same God I'd heard about in church, but now what I'd heard became real and alive to me.
What worked for me was asking God to reveal Himself because my logical and questioning mind couldn't just accept the things I'd been taught in Sunday school without knowing in my heart of hearts what was true. I had struggled up to that point to be able to believe, or as you worded it, be religious, but I knew that I knew when I had that encounter that I'd foudn the real thing. You said you wish you could be religious. Maybe, even if you don't really feel religious, you could do an experiment and just do another prayer like "God, if You are there, then remove these blocks that keep me from believing in You." Even if you are not sure He's even real, He will answer your hearts cry and any small movement toward Him, He will respond to with a leap. So if you can't find Him, ask Him to find you. :0) Like I shared, it took me a year and a half of wanting to believe but struggling to, but finally the answer I needed came and since that time my sense of peace in life has been awesome, even if at times depression comes and goes.
Belief systems very much effect how we feel because they effect how we see the world, ourselves, others etc. and thoughts directly effect emotions. Sometimes it just takes some help from above to reach that place of having our beliefs aligned with what we 'want' to believe but struggle to know is real which is why I say ask God, the true GOd, whoever He may be, to find you. Put the burden on HIS shoulders and just wait for the answer to come. And be patient, kay? BUt also be expectant.
I hope something I shared here might help. Don't give up. There IS peace for you. :0)
Take care, manyembers
Post Edited (manyembers) : 12/26/2008 3:25:32 AM (GMT-7)
I hope you find the answer you are looking for, keep an openmind. Believing that gods do not (or cannot) exist is known as "strong atheism." I do not think that describes you. You are looking for something to believe in.
You will find each other.
Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression& GERD Forums*~*