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Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 2317
   Posted 12/30/2008 5:14 PM (GMT -6)   
Sorry I don't normally post here. I've been working pretty hard to keep my depression in check ever since April but it just seems like everything is crashing down on me.
My neighborhood has been preyed on by auction houses & home values have declined over 30% in the last year. Even though I had an almost 20% down payment, it would still be a short sale & my bank won't allow me to do that.
My condo assessments, meanwhile have gone up 400% in the past year & soon will go up another 100%. At that point, it will take me a whole week's pay every month just to pay the assessment.
I was put on unpaid leave from work due to a chronic health condition.
I have no money at all & loads of debt & have basically maxed out both my credit cards.
I cannot pay my co-insurance to see a counselor beginning Jan 1st, but b/c I have insurance I do not qualify for charity care or the public clinics.
My disability claim from 3 months ago is still "being processed" so I have no income. I keep calling the disability insurance company, but they won't even return my voice mail messages.

It feels so hard to want to do anything. Everything just seems so pointless. I just don't know what else to do.


Elite Member

Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 12/30/2008 7:36 PM (GMT -6)   


Never give up..........I am so sorry this crazy economy has caused pain for so many.  I have lot over 1/2 of my pension fund and don't know what to do .  My son is setting me up with financial advisor for a free consultation.

America's financial crises is fueling chronic stress and limiting some people's ability to think clearly, control emotions and regulate bodily functions in a healthy manner.

Now is the time to take control of emotions and better regulate the mind-body stress response.

Productive worry is thinking on situations you can control, and you should use productive worry to take actions that reduce stress and relieve anxiety.

Unproductive worry is thinking about things you cannot control,"

Take a break. Don't saturate yourself with stressful information. Stay informed, but take a news break. Most people don't need to track the markets minute by minute."

Stay connected. Don't let the rest of your life dwindle away. Make sure you are paying attention to daily activities: family, friends, social occasions and recreation.

Pay attention to yourself. Remember that stress takes a physical toll. Learn meditation and do muscle relaxation. More simply, pay attention to your stress level throughout the day and occasionally breathe slowly and deeply. Reference: University of Alabama at Birmingham


Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
& GERD  Forums
*~* *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources

Regular Member

Date Joined Dec 2006
Total Posts : 424
   Posted 12/31/2008 12:52 AM (GMT -6)   
Kitt said it well: "Never give up." I don't have any advice, but just wanted to say I know how hard tight times can be waiting for disability and that money agencies aren't in it for the heart but the bottom line. It sucks. But you have a lot going for you and so just hang in there.

I found when fighting to get on disability that the world seemed like it could have cared less. But that's when it's good to come to places like this forum so we can be reminded that these trials aren't personal and many understand. I'm sorry you are going through this.

take care, manyembers

Regular Member

Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 76
   Posted 12/31/2008 1:07 AM (GMT -6)   
Dear Frances,

I just wanted to send you a BIG HUG and remind you that most life challenges are temporary and will eventually resolve themselves one way or another.

Take a deep breath and remind yourself that all we can do is handle ONE DAY AT A TIME.

I know you are in a tough situation, and many of us are more so these days.

Sometimes it helps just to know someone cares and understands.

God Bless,


Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 2317
   Posted 12/31/2008 12:27 PM (GMT -6)   
Thanks so much to all of you - kitt, embers & 4.

I am going to try to at least take care of a few things today. I'm still feeling really trapped by my situation & can't really figure a way out of it. I think I just need to keep in mind that foreclosure is not the worst thing in the world, people do recover from it & it would get me out of an upside down mortgage. It's just hard to think like that. I have always been responsible with my money up to this point. It is hard to accept that I really messed this one up & should have set aside more savings for "rainy days" -- it is definitely raining buckets now.

I thought once I decided I wanted to live & came up with a plan to work through problems rather than just trying to end them that things would get better; and they did for a little while, but now they are just hard: neighbors getting evicted every couple weeks, my family refusing to talk to me until I "get it together" (actually, that may be a blessing b/c they really didn't have anything nice to say when we were talking) and not having any money to go out with friends - even if it's just for a cup of coffee.

I'm gonna try to start back on the hormones to see if that helps & I get to go grocery shopping b/c my boss (God love her) send me a GC as a belated Christmas present. Maybe that will help. Thanks again for all your encouragement.

Regular Member

Date Joined Dec 2006
Total Posts : 424
   Posted 1/1/2009 2:30 AM (GMT -6)   
  Hurrah for you Frances!!  You are already have a plan of action...small goals to keep you moving forward.  I have no doubt you will recover.  Don't blame yourself.  I have learned that I can do all the "right" things in life but that doesn't guarantee things will turn out the way I anticipate.  And you couldn't have known you'd need more savings.  It sounds like you did a lot of stuff right and that you have a very good head on your shoulders.  No doubt you'll continue to make good choices and you'll get through this alright.
  Keep taking it a day at a time. 
  I wish you all the best!

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 2317
   Posted 1/1/2009 1:55 PM (GMT -6)   
Thanks again, embers.

I still feel like I should have done better -- esp. with my home. I work in investments & watched the markets carefully and pulled my money out a few months before things topped out. I knew the stock market fluctuates wildly & didn't get stupid or greedy with that money. But I believed the hype that mortgage debt is "good debt" and put more money into it than I was comfortable losing. I now know that any debt is less than ideal & as securities, including homes, depreciate rapidly they just suck everything down with them. I have poured so much money into trying to stay here (mostly all of it on credit cards) and all it does is stress me out more. Well, tomorrow the banks reopen so I can deal with that then.

I am feeling a bit better today & am working on cleaning my messy, messy home that I haven't felt up to cleaning in about 4 weeks. I have a lot of dishes & garbage & unopened bills and finally feel like I can start to face them. Thanks again so much for the encouragement. It really has made a difference.

Regular Member

Date Joined Dec 2006
Total Posts : 424
   Posted 1/1/2009 10:13 PM (GMT -6)   



  I know the feeling of "I should have known better" but it's so true that we learn many things only in retrospect and through experience.  I was in that place this summer and I felt so crappy about the situation and my decision making etc. for a few months.  Then finally I found the strength to gradually start to move forward again.  I see that same kind of strength rising in you and that's a good sign!  It might take awhiel to regroup and rebuild but it can happen and with all the skills you have and lessons learned, who knows but that the second time round might even find you better off in years to come.  Don't lose heart.  You can recover.

  Take good care of yourself.  You are doing well.   yeah  



Veteran Member

Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 595
   Posted 1/2/2009 6:33 AM (GMT -6)   
Frances i think at this stage the whole world is hurting to some extent some more than others .I look at my problems and then think to myself there is so many out there worse off than i am .Sure there is little money but what we have provides food ,we make clothes last a lot longer than before .
Things will get better .
Some days are a lot harder than others and we all have them .Hopefully things will settle down over the next few months and we might all be able to relax a little more .
Take care .

Veteran Member

Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 1683
   Posted 1/2/2009 8:59 PM (GMT -6)   

Frances i know that in my case, through my own, stupid fault i have racked up credit card debt. it was reckless and dumb and now im paying that off every fortnight and it leaves me with precious little of my paycheck to do anything with. i am certain my financial problems have worsened my anxiety and depression, but im also angry for letting myself be irresponsible with the credit cards- i earn good money, i should never have got into debt, and now i stress and stress and kick myself. (the credit cards have been chopped up and thrown out) but the anxiety about money doesnt go away.

i hope things improve for you, and do so quickly. in my case, i only have myself to blame,

Maz XX

            'He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds.' (Psalm 147:3)                  
Panic Disorder, Agoraphobia, CFS, Fibromyalgia, TMJ disorder, Endometriosis, PCOS, Chronic E.N.T infections, Reactive Arthritis, GERD, Sinusitis, IBS,  Allergies, Glandular fever, Migraines, Anemia, Chemical/Noise/Light sensitivity, Trichotilomania, PTSD, Seasonal Mood  Disorder, OCD, Benign Vertigo,  Impaired immune system. Tachycardia, tinnitus, low clotting factor= bruising. Tendonitis, Bursitis.
Meds: Zoloft 150mg. Xanax 4mg. Celebrex. Mobic. Panadeine Forte. Digesic. Nexium.
Multiple surgeries- I bear the scars of my poor physical health.
Age:28. First diagnosed at 14. Proud Aussie.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 2317
   Posted 1/4/2009 1:25 AM (GMT -6)   
Thx, Embers. I keep trying to remember that. Sometimes we think things are so awful, but when we eventually get to look back we find those times were filled with blessings and built otherwise unattainable strength.

Thanks, Maz!
I finally looked into getting some help from Salvation Army. I found a great program for people with insurance but with high deductibles (mine's $1500) to get secondary insurance and I will only have to pay $20/year premium plus a $30/month copay for each prescription (right now I pay $300 for one & $1600 for the other) so that will be a huge help. Yea! I have to start over with a new pain specialist & a new counselor, but at least that will allow me to get some help. I wish I wouldn't have been so reckless running up debt in the first place. I wrongly tried to justify it by saying that almost every penny was for food or medical care, but the reality is that there are good assistance programs in my area, many of which I have sponsored for years & others that are funded by my ultra high taxes (okay, I know I shouldn't complain; they may be the highest in the US, but they're still less than Australia's taxes :)

I keep hoping I can one day return to teaching, which would pay substantially better than my current job. I got stressed about all the medical credit agencies calling me early last year about the $17K I had in medical debt from the year before, so I put most of it on charge cards & figured I could just pay it off once I got well and went back to the classroom. Except that hasn't happened yet (health is never predictable, is it?) & like you I now spend way too much of my monthly income paying credit cards. Second only to the insane amount I spend on my evil condo. If I had it to do over again, I would have gone to one of the free/low-cost clinics instead of going to a private doctor. Well, live & learn, I guess.

I did get a Gift Card to buy enough food to last for the next 6-8 weeks so that's pretty huge! But after that's gone, with no income at all, I guess I will be on the other side of the table at the food pantry where I volunteer. But at least I can be grateful that they still have food on their shelves to give away. I know a lot of places have had to close down b/c of decreased donations.

No worries! The two of us will work our way out of this mess. :) I got a free program called "My Financial House" that I downloaded from the Insurance Information Institute ( that is helping me track my debt, payments & payoff date. It told me it's 3 years away for me to pay everything off once I go back to my sad little job, but that still feels better to know an exact date rather than just getting stressed in my mind & believing it will be 10 years away. I put in my savings goals too, b/c I want to do what I can to make sure this nightmare never happens again. It is horrible to be dragged down by shame, stress & depression. I think I will take your cue & cut up at least one, or if I'm brave enough both, of my credit cards. Once I fight my way out of Debt&DepressionLand this time, I don't plan to return ever again. ;)

happy wishes to all.
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