Argument with Sister

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Regular Member

Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 27
   Posted 12/31/2008 10:47 AM (GMT -6)   
I dont even know where to start i feel so confused and upset. Had a really big arguement with my sister yesterday over a new years card which I had given to her, because i only wrote it to her and not to her fiancee too. I really couldnt see what the problem was i thought it was just me giving my sister a card, anyway it resulted in her storming out of the house and my depression levels or whatever its called got so bad so fast. I used to be so close to my sister but ever since she moved out last year on the day i left hospital shes changed and become very cold and distant sometimes. Her answer to depression is to just snap out of it!.. well if it were that easy.
And then im being messed around again by my so called best friend who i hadnt heard from christmas day until the 29th, the day after her birthday and all she went on about in her text was about this party she'd had with her friends. I've said countless times about me going round to see her or meeting up in town but she conviently ignores that everytime. My other friends who all live atleast 100miles from me say that she isnt really a friend and even my doctor labelled our friendship toxic.
I've been on noritriptyline now for a good 3 months i think, does anyone know if it should have started to work by now? All the other anti deps they had me on didnt work. I find it really hard to talk to my doctor as she either snaps at me or gives the impression that im wasting her time. Lately ive been having acupunture with another doctor at the same practice, and feel able to talk to him but he wants to have the pain controlled better first before any more of my medication is altered.
Happy new year
Michelle x

Post Edited By Moderator (stkitt) : 1/2/2009 5:21:05 PM (GMT-7)

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Jan 2004
Total Posts : 3435
   Posted 12/31/2008 2:17 PM (GMT -6)   

Give your sister some time, hopefully she will understand it was not a slight on her fiance. As for the "just snap out of it" comment, I hope that was something was just said in the heat of the arguement and wasn't sincere.

As for not feeling comfortable with your doctor, maybe it is time to find a doctor that is willing to listen to you more.

Thoughts and prayers are with you,
Jon,  Co-moderator for Crohn's Disease and Depression forums
"The man who insists upon seeing with perfect clearness before he decides, never decides. Accept life, and you must accept regret." -- Henri-Frédéric Amiel (1821-81), Swiss philosopher, poet 
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Regular Member

Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 27
   Posted 12/31/2008 5:36 PM (GMT -6)   
Thanks Jon, i wish i could say that she only tells me to snap out of it after we've had an arguement and hardly ever, but she says it so often, which makes me feel so isolated from her which then gets me even more down. Ive tried talking to her but she just gets in a mood and either ignores me or the latter.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 1683
   Posted 12/31/2008 6:48 PM (GMT -6)   

Mich i hate that attitude of 'just snap out of it'! like we CHOOSE to be this way. if we could 'just snap out of it, wouldnt we do exactly that?!! i think it stems from ignorance surrounding depression and mood disorders and alot of people treat you differently, like an emotional cripple (thats happened to me)

you dont need this stress. and while i remember, your friend DOES sound toxic- would she do for you what you would do for her? sometimes you need to weigh up the situation and see if your friends are holding you back and hurting you.

all the best,

Maz XX

            'He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds.' (Psalm 147:3)                  
Panic Disorder, Agoraphobia, CFS, Fibromyalgia, TMJ disorder, Endometriosis, PCOS, Chronic E.N.T infections, Reactive Arthritis, GERD, Sinusitis, IBS,  Allergies, Glandular fever, Migraines, Anemia, Chemical/Noise/Light sensitivity, Trichotilomania, PTSD, Seasonal Mood  Disorder, OCD, Benign Vertigo,  Impaired immune system. Tachycardia, tinnitus, low clotting factor= bruising. Tendonitis, Bursitis.
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Multiple surgeries- I bear the scars of my poor physical health.
Age:28. First diagnosed at 14. Proud Aussie.

Regular Member

Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 27
   Posted 1/2/2009 6:48 AM (GMT -6)   
I've said that to her so many times before till im blue in the face! I couldnt face my sister yesterday when she came round. I went to bed as soon as i got back from the cinema and spent the rest of the day bawling my eyes out. I also get told to 'just cheer up' all the time!! Funny how people without depression think they have all the answers dont you think!

Veteran Member

Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 2386
   Posted 1/2/2009 7:15 AM (GMT -6)   
Sounds like we're your better friends Mich. You know my mom made me a binder of positive charastics about me. Gave it to me one day. I still go to counceling. Another thing that helps me, is I read the book of Job (I dont mean to offend if your not a believer). I also take my thoughts and do freelance poetry (poems that don't rhyme). If you can find some things that help you release but in a healthy way, it can help. Sometimes I even just locked myself in the bathroom and draw a nice hot bath with some relaxing music and candles. How do you feel right now hon?

Regular Member

Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 27
   Posted 1/2/2009 9:00 AM (GMT -6)   
Thank you very much for the advice SmurfyShadow. Im at work right now (its very quite, only taken 3 calls all day) but when I get home ill take a look at Job. At this momment in time im not feeling too bad, theres not many people in work so i dont need to explain over and over again why i couldnt drink over Christmas / New years which is a relief as i know for sure it will happen on monday. Every free minute i get i read the various forum messages, as it helps so much more to be able to converse with people who actually know what you're going through. I got refered to counceling by the community mental health team just before christmas, which they said could take a couple of months before i get to see anyone. Just before christmas i went to New York for the week and didnt feel that I was as worthy as eveyone else to be in certain shops, and just wanted to shut myself away in my hotel room. That happens quite often i can be out shopping or family could be visting and i almost get paralised with negative feelings/emotions about myself and break down.

Elite Member

Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 1/2/2009 7:30 PM (GMT -6)   
I may repeat things I posted before............please start taking care of yourself.  Block this person who emails you and is playing head games with you .
Your sister IMHO is being mean and spiteful over the card and she does not understand Depression so don't count on her for support. Hopefully someday she will see the light.
Noritriptyline was the first AD I was on..............that worked but you need to have blood levels drawn to make sure your in the therapeutic range.  Find a new physician sweetie.
I was on Noritriptyline  75 mg daily.  I started on 50 mg and that did not put me into the therpeutic range.
There are lots of good physicians and theapists out there.  Please fine yourself new professoanls to help you.
Gentle hugs

Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
&  Moderator GERD  Forums

*~* *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
Peace does not dwell in outward things, but within the soul
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources

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