Never give up, you will get through this rough time. I am sorry for the battle with depression you are in right now.
Perhaps it sounds strange right now but even after all these years it may be good to be rid of this person in your life who seems to have turned toxic and is causing you severe sadness.
I have not been in a hospital but I am glad for the person that did come to you and sat with you after the nurse was so stern with you.
I do not believe that you have brought any of this on yourself, you have depression, you have an illness............lets help you get through this tough time.