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New Member

Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 1/9/2009 10:06 PM (GMT -6)   
im 31 and hav been suffering with depression for 7 yrs.i hav been of my meds 4 the past ten weeks with the help of a cpunsellor but against my psyciatrists wishes. i hav been trying to work through my issues but i hav startde to feel crapty again.i feel now id b betterr of fed up fighting this thing.i hav tried leAving many times the last in oct.i dont want to take meds. any morei cant live like this.i cant talk to anyone even my counsellor is trying to get me to take them.if i go to my shrink and tell him how i feel he ll bang me in hospital against my will again  and force the meds on me.i dont want to live like this its not a life.death is the only way i can c is ultimately were everyone ends up.i am taking control its the only way i can hav family are another problem they dont want me takin meds they think i should b able to control myself but ive tried so hard and i cant.i also hav probs with cuttin and pull out my hair tat i am still in control of.there seems to b  no way out of this dam hole i hav found myself inyet mater wat i do i end up bac here and bac in hospital i cant let tat happen again.wat can i do r there any real answers,will this ever go away or is it my burden to bear and i will only b free in death??????elli.m

New Member

Date Joined Dec 2008
Total Posts : 13
   Posted 1/9/2009 10:54 PM (GMT -6)   

you can't give up!

I've been fighting depression for 9 years, and I'm only 17. Something I've learned is that sometimes you DO need help other than a therapist. I took zoloft for a year, but didn't want to be on it anymore, like you, and stopped taking it, but things only got worse. Still, I refused to take any medicine because I wanted to be able to tackle my problems without being drugged up. Then, I hit rock bottom, and I went to the psychiatric hospital for a little over 2 weeks and they put me on another medicine there.

It might make it seem like you're weak if you need the help of a hospital or medicine, but it's the opposite. Being able to accept that you've got problems and doing all you can to tackle them is one of the strongest things a person can do!

You should do what's best for you, and don't let your family or people out in society get you down. Get the help you need, be it meds, therapy, the hospital, whatever, but don't give up.

hang in there, okay?

Your head'll collapse when there's nothing in it
And you'll ask yourself
"Where is my mind? "

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 2317
   Posted 1/9/2009 11:59 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Elli, sad
I feel so horrible for you. You sound just miserable. Maybe it's worth a try to go back on the meds, at least for a little while, huh? Why don't you talk to your psychiatrist about getting a new script for them? I think that would help you feel better. Then, once you're feeling a bit better you can decide if there is some other treatment you want to try.

If you tell your doctor how depressed you're feeling without saying that you want to harm yourself, he can't force you to go to the hospital. I know sometimes going to the hospital just makes things worse. Can you bring your family with you to talk with your counselor? My family has never been supportive of me taking meds either, but they did back off some once my doctor explained to them that I needed them in order to live. You HAVE tried everything within your control to get better without medicine or hospitals. It's just too much. Just like people can get well from things like the cold by themselves, but can't get well from cancer by themselves, there are varying degrees of depression. Sometimes people who are not very depressed can find their own way to health, but when they get worse they need the help of doctors, medicine, or even hospitals. Try not to feel bad about asking for help. You are doing everything you can to stay alive & healthy, and it's okay to ask for help to reach that goal.

Please take care of yourself & know that you can come here any time for extra support.


New Member

Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 1/10/2009 3:38 AM (GMT -6)   

I would suggest that the best option to get rid of mental health is spiritual help. In fact, I've realized that spirituality has a great healing power.


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Veteran Member

Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 585
   Posted 1/10/2009 5:00 AM (GMT -6)   
Heej Elli,

I am sorry to hear what you are going through right now. When can't see the light, please try to call an emergency hotline first:

National Suicide Hotline
1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433)
This is a combined network of the Amerian Association of Suicidology, the National Hopeline Network, CONTACT USA, and many other organizations. Call are automatically routed to the nearest crisis center to the phone from which the call for help is placed.

Helpful Web Sites:
Suicide Hotlines (listed by state) (includes Suicide Crisis Center and Depression and Suicide)

I agree with Ellen and Frances, accepting that you have a problem will make things easier. And doctors can't force you to go into a clinic, but they can be a help. And right now, it seems you can use all the help there is. We all care about you Elli!

Maybe a psychologist, a doctor, a just someone around can help you with. Life is taking place now, we can't change the past or be in the future. We can have some control of what will happen in the future, but there are so many things we won't take into consideration that the outcome might differ greatly. Maybe you could think about what control over your life is, what it is needed for, why it will help etc. Trying to look at things from a different perspective might give you new insights that prove useful. Sharing your thoughts with others will help to see things from a different perspective.

Elli, please take care, and feel free to write here whatever you want, when you want! We will be here for you!
Acceptance is the key

The World is but a reflection. Smile, and it will smile back.

Try to keep smiling! :)

Veteran Member

Date Joined Feb 2005
Total Posts : 616
   Posted 1/10/2009 6:05 AM (GMT -6)   
elli, I don't understand why are you so against taking meds, which clearly helped you before and now you said your feeling crappy doesn't that mean you need treatment? there is millions of people around the world taking medications for depression, they take them for a reason don't they? it makes your life eazier.

I'v bin strugeling with depression myself for over 9 years and I'v tried many types of medications, some of them didn't work for me but I didn't give up I asked my doctor to try something else. if your worried about certain side-effects you can speak to your doctor he can change your medication and try something else that may work better for you.

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