I Need Help....I, I just don't know what's going on....

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New Member

Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 1/10/2009 6:56 AM (GMT -6)   
Hey guys, I'll preface this post with a short bio. I'm currently a 20 year old male with a problem that I never thought I'd have...I don't think it's severe but I feel it's on its way there.

First off, I feel like I always have low energy, I don't know if this is biological or psychological (or both). I can't explain it but one thing I do know for sure is I hate it with a passion. I think the mental aspect severally limits the physical aspect of myself and causes me to constantly feel depressed.

With school for instance, I feel like it's not helping me in terms of achieving my goals, I'm sort of just sliding forward (albeit getting good grades) but I just feel like all the work I'm putting in is useless. I'm sort of a secular thinker in a way and I constantly hate the fact that I'm forced to learn things I know I'll never use in the future. It's the way I am with many things, and I'm sure that line of thinking may have its benefits somewhere else...but in this case it's terrible. I also feel like I never live up to my full potential, like I can do and say so much more during school and class, but I don't...and when I don't I feel like crap, which snowballs all the other problems I'm having.

Or it could just be with someone at my school that I like but can't find the courage to 'act' normal around. It's like some kind of evolutionary compulsion to act stiff and weird, which is unusual because that's not how I normally act (except, of course, in the above example of speaking up during class). In a way, I sort of wish I didn't have these feelings towards this person [that I like] because I feel it makes me awkward to the point of avoiding them (and from what it seems, it's like they're avoiding me because I do act differently around them, much more differently, could just be cognitive dissonance on my part but I don't know). I'm normally not shy and could speak up and have a conversation with anyone (or make a speech and not get nervous), but not around this person, it makes me look like such a tool.

And I'm not done, because there's like so many things I want to do in life...but feel I'm overwhelming myself, but then I get thoughts that it's simply my way of procrastinating. I know that I want to lose some weight/get in shape and do a bunch of other 'selfhelp-related' things, however I feel I keep making excuses and have a severe lack of energy that literally makes me angry. Like I said I always feel overwhelmed...

The sad part is I feel like I have all this potential and I'm constantly not living up to it. I also feel if I try to hard I'll get overly exhausted and get even more sluggish. I really don't know what to do, I mean do I just start small or do I just go cold-turkey and simply change everything at once? I'm just afraid of failing and going back to square one. And what I do about the person I really like at school, I don't necessary want to "ask them out", I just want to be friends with them and not act like such a awkward weirdo. The one thing I don't want is this attachment (in terms of attraction) to stick with this person, I want to simply see them as 'another person', because not only do I want to act normal but I also don't want to be in a position where I can't have something I really wanted, and thereby get extremely depressed. I hate having an attachment I have little to no control over, absolutely cant stand it.

And what can I do about the severe lack of energy I constantly have? It's embarrassing, it drives me crazy, I mean, where do I start? Perhaps some light jogging with my favorite music, I really don't know, I don't know where to begin, it really makes me feel like crap.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Feb 2005
Total Posts : 616
   Posted 1/10/2009 7:38 AM (GMT -6)   
First of all welcome to the forum brad, you sound inteligent and smart, maybe what you lack is more expirience in life, just remmeber your still young and starting your life, your at that age where you want to decide what to do in life and how to find your place, it's not eazy to be in that postion I'v bin there but I'm sure your going to find your way in the end.

about the energy problems, I would suggest excersize like you said jogging with music, maybe swimming or basketball or aerobics anything you may enjoy, this is important, I really prefer if you indulge in group excersize as it's more entertaining. there is also dancing have you thought about taking dancing leasons? samba is cool :)

All in all you need to follow your dreams, find what you like doing and do it, don't put too much pressure on yourself or beat yourself up when your feeling overwhwlmed, just take things one at a time , day by day.

about the special person you refer to ( I assume it's a she), is she a friend of yours? if not why don't you try becoming friends and getting to know her? there is nothing to loose by doing that, try to see if there is chemistry between you two, you never know what could happen untill you try

and good luck for you whatever you decide to do !

Elite Member

Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 1/10/2009 11:17 AM (GMT -6)   


Welcome to HealingWell.  I am Kitt. Akram gave you good advice about exercising. 

I would like to suggest you see your physician and get a good physical to make sure you do not have a medical issue going on.  Be sure to talk with your physician about how you are feeling.

Another thing that may help you is


The MoodGym Training Program


Cognitive-behavioral therapy is based on the idea that our thoughts
cause our feelings and behaviors, not external things, like people, situations,
and events. The benefit of this fact is that we can change the way we think to
feel / act better even if the situation does not change.

This is a free online course and many members have used it.

Take care an again welcome to HealingWell.




Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
&  Moderator GERD  Forums

http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
Peace does not dwell in outward things, but within the soul
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources

New Member

Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 1/11/2009 2:39 AM (GMT -6)   
Thank you both for your replies...

Akram I really like the point you made about finding something I love and doing it, I think I constantly bombard myself with things I don't like that it's effected my mood. Thanks again guys!

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42499
   Posted 1/11/2009 9:30 AM (GMT -6)   
I think that often we do that. Try to do things that we don't enjoy, just for the sake of staying busy. I am glad that you found good advice here and I hope that this starts you on your journey to healing.

HealingWell is full of a ton of wonderful kind and compassionate people. I am glad that you have joined us.

Best wishes for a wonderful day.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

Veteran Member

Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 585
   Posted 1/11/2009 11:08 AM (GMT -6)   
Heej Brad!

Welcome to HW :-)!

Yes, some of us get lost in life. I remember when I got here, I was quite the same as you. A thing that worked for me was to praise and enjoy everything I can, all the time. Praise the food I have, praise the computer I am able to use, praise the friends I have. That keeps me aware of the wonderful things, instead of only the bad.

Being grateful to use something, rather than to think it is normal you have it also breaks the emotional attachment towards things. A year ago, I couldn't if the TV wouldn't receive a proper signal for instance. And I believed that next thing I bought would solve my problems. Or that girl would solve my problems. Now, I am just grateful to use things, so that when it is broken or lost, it ain't a problem.

But take gradual steps, it is impossible to want a complete change of mind in an instant. Just challenge yourself every day with some minor things, like making up your bed, or take a jog. And reward yourself after you have done something like that. That is important.

Brad, I wish you all the best!


P.S: I am 18 atm, so quite your age. Feel free to contact me with whatever!
Acceptance is the key

The World is but a reflection. Smile, and it will smile back.

Try to keep smiling! :)

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