I can see what that can be very frustrating. Some meds don't work, others will. It seems that the meds you've tried so far doesn't work, so that is progress as well. You progress by limiting the meds that could work.
Thomas, you are always progressing when new things happen. Maybe you are back at start right now, but you've seen the road ahead, so it'll be easier to walk that. Maybe you could write down everything that is giving you even the slightest amount of joy. See them as items you need for the walk of life. Sometimes they can slow you down, but in the overall they will stimulate your progress.
And know that we are always here for you, so keep on using us!
All the best!
Acceptance is the key
The World is but a reflection. Smile, and it will smile back.Try to keep smiling! :)