Hey Skillet, I'm Ellen, I'm 17
I actually used to be almost exactly like you, I really kept to myself and I was always afraid that people were talking about me, or laughing at me, or thinking about me in a bad way. And then when they actually were, it was ten times worse and I would feel worthless and stupid.
Then, slowly but surely, I started to realize that they weren't always thinking bad about me or talking about me, and when they were, it wasn't as big of a deal as I thought before. It's always annoying when people tell you "it shouldn't matter what people think", because they obviously don't go to high school. It really does affect you when people think poorly about you, but the thing you have to realize is that more than likely, it's not as bad as you think.
I was in the hospital a few weeks ago for depression and school avoidance (one reason I didn't go to school was because I was afraid of what the people there thought of me), and while I was there I went through something called cognative behavioral therapy (CBT). Basically, it teaches you that your feelings are a result of your thoughts about a certain situation. Like at school: If someone is whispering and looking at you, you think "Oh... they're talking about me. There must be something ugly about me today, they must think I'm weird, so on...", and then as a result you feel sad and embarrassed. What you've got to do is change the thought that effects the feeling... instead of always worrying and thinking "there's something wrong with me that they're talking about" you might change it to "oh, someone is noticing me, I wonder if they're saying something nice about me". It's hard to change the thoughts, but not as hard as you may expect.
High school is really tough, especially if you just moved and you don't have a good support system there. Just hang in there, and try to stay positive. I'm always here to talk, too!
Your head'll collapse when there's nothing in it
And you'll ask yourself
"Where is my mind? "