You could totally have just described my life except for the moving and the alcoholic mother part.
I'm 17, was actually diagnosed with a social phobia, and have always been really shy. I have a few close friends where I live, but lately they've been kind of shunning me, so I'm alone a lot more often than I used to be. I'm dealing with the same paranoid feelings; that people are always looking at me or judging me, and that they're always talking about
me behind my back. It got so bad that for a while at school I would rush across the courtyard as fast as I could to get to my class, but I just KNEW that they were saying bad things about
me. I was also diagnosed with depression a while ago.
I've been seeing a psychologist for about
a year now, and let me tell you, it really does help! I look forward to seeing him every couple weeks just for the fact that I know it's a safe place to let everything out. I can tell him whatever and he never judges me, he just help me figure out what I'm going to do to help myself.
I just have to keep reminding myself about
all the wonderful things that are going on in life. I just got a kitten before Christmas, so my motivation is greatly improved cuz I have to take care of her now. There are a million things that can lift my spirits when I'm really down, and I know that sometimes you can't even think of any, but there's always something. It's sunny outside, I got an email from a friend, there's an old movie playing on the tv, my kitty sleeping in my arms...
I'd love to hear back from you! You're the first person my age I've found on here!
Loves! And all my best wishes!
To acquire the habit of reading is to construct for yourself a refuge from almost all the miseries of life.
We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.