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New Member

Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 1/18/2009 7:18 PM (GMT -6)   
My boyfriend dumped me on monday, and his reason was that he wouldnt be able to see me over summer cos we go home from uni.
I went to fight for him on Tuesday, in the freezing cold and pleaded with him and asked him why. He said he never wanted to hurt me and couldn't trust himself.
I got drunk on Wednesday as my STEP ONE of getting over him : Have fun. Went well until someone I thought was a friend got a little TOO friendly...
I was told by my tutors on Thursday to talk to the councillers at uni.
On Friday I slept most of the day away and then decided enough was enough I have to get on with everything, and that from here on in I would be happy no matter what.
So why do i feel like everythings a huge mess?

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42499
   Posted 1/18/2009 9:09 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Caspa,

I think that you feel like everything is a huge mess because things changed so fast. You need time to digest everything. What did your counselor want to talk to you about? Was it anything serious, or just about your classes or what?

I know that you are sad because of your boyfriend, but maybe he did you a favor. Maybe he wasn't to be trusted. I am sorry about that though.

I hope that you keep posting, we are here to try to help you sort things out.

Best wishes

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

Veteran Member

Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 585
   Posted 1/19/2009 3:58 PM (GMT -6)   
Heej Caspa,

I am sorry to hear what happened to you. It can take some time for you to sort things out, but be aware that others can help you with that.

By saying you are going to be happy all the time is the greatest mental challenge there is. And the most rewarding. If you would be happy all the time, there would be no negativity. But negativity is around us since we were born, at least, that is what is being taught to us. about "right" and "wrong", "good", "evil", etc. I am not trying to scare you, but most of us Western guys and girls see the world in a way of right and wrong, as it is taught to us. So please don't feel discouraged if you can't instantly be happy. It takes time, but practice makes perfect.

And once again, committing yourself to be happy is one of the best thing you can do with your life, if not the best. Maybe you could try to look at everything from a different, preferable positive side. Instead of feeling bad for a loss, feel grateful for the time you had with that person, or object. Instead of feeling bad because you don't like the food, be grateful you have food. Instead of feeling angry towards someone who offended you, be grateful towards that person because he or she provides you with a situation you can practise patience in.

Wow, time for a break, when things like this are coming up I can't stop talking :-).

Anyway, you seem like someone with a positive attitude, and I am sure you will find your joy again. Right now, things might seem clouded, but they will disappear, maybe even faster than you can think.

All the very best!
Acceptance is the key

The World is but a reflection. Smile, and it will smile back.

Try to keep smiling! :)

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