Have you seen a counsellor about
how you are feeling? That could help you get to the root cause of your problems and start to move forward? Have you tried any relaxation methods like meditation maybe? or some yoga? Or even just deep breathing?
You say your not "normal" enough to be round other people, but what is normal? Everyone is different & people are accepting of other peoples quirks! There is no reason for you to be alone & miserable - maybe you could set yourself some goals and starting trying to work towards them a little bit at a time?
"The Optimist sees the rose and not its thorns; the pessimist stares at the thorns, oblivious of the rose."
"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, its about learning to dance in the rain"