From severe anxiety to worse depression.

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Regular Member

Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 34
   Posted 2/1/2009 5:50 AM (GMT -6)   
I have had depression all my life, and at some point, anxiety.

But the worst anxiety began right after I got out of the hospital for hernia surgery. There were 2, because the first one did not take.

The anxiety seemed to get worse, and I had to get rid of my puppies to a no-kill shelter because they were aggravating my anxiety.

It seemed like an eternity, but I got to see my psychiatrist. A week prior, he wrote me a prescription for Klonopin, because Ativan or Xanax was not working for me.

After a few days, the Klonopin seemed to calm me down some.

But now, I still worry about finances and my father's health, he's 78 and I don't know how much time he has left. I have nobody except my mentally disabled brother.

My worry has added on sadness and more depression. It's worse at night, since I cannot sleep past 2 or 3 am with sleep-aids.

I've been on Wellbutrin (then generic) since the year 2000. It seemed to help. I am up to 300mg and it's not really doing the job anymore.

I also started Lexapro Jan.22, 2008.

So, I am taking:

1. Wellbutrin
2. Invega
3. Klonopin
4. Lexapro

I guess being sad is a tad better than being on edge all of the time, although I do still get anxiety attacks.

I know there is no advice that can really help me, because I am stuck in a rut, taking care of my father and disabled brother. If something happens to my father, I'll be alone (because my brother cannot talk or anything) and will have to move to a poor house. I fear the idea of being alone. i was always a loner, sure, I had friends, but I always wanted time for myself. But since I got this anxiety I need more support. I am trying to get support but it's not enough.

I want to get over my dispair, fear, worry, anxiety and enjoy life again. Otherwise, what's the point?

Elite Member

Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 2/1/2009 11:58 AM (GMT -6)   
Hey there, I have been following your posts on both forums.  I am going to suggest that you seek out a therapist to help you through this tough time.
We are here for you but from the messages in your posts I feel that you need professional help. That is just my 2 cents worth for today.
You are anticipating the worse things for your future. You can learn ways to control this pattern of thinking so please do get into therapy.
Take care

Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
&  Moderator GERD  Forums

*~* *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
Peace does not dwell in outward things, but within the soul
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 7350
   Posted 2/1/2009 12:19 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Markofkane

What I find is that my anxiety really affects my depression, If i have gone through a high period of anxiety when things calm down I crash into depression they seem to go hand in hand with each other. Sorry to hear about your Dad and brother sounds like you are having a rough time of it at the moment. I really agree with what Kitt said about seeking therapy maybe CBT? I have had therapy and find it very helpful and this mixed with the right medications has good results. I am doing the free online CBT at the moment it's called moodgym to tied me over until I have CBT with my therapist in March. I hope things start to get better for you soon and keep posting here to tell us how you are getting on.

Take Care

Regular Member

Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 34
   Posted 2/1/2009 1:45 PM (GMT -6)   
I am seeing a therapist. I saw him 3 times. I also had a psychiatrist since 2000.


getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42612
   Posted 2/1/2009 1:48 PM (GMT -6)   
It sounds like you are doing all the right things. Just try to live in the moment and take life one day at a time. Try not to worry about what the future holds. That will unfold as it should. This will keep your anxiety down. And when you feel it creeping up, center yourself in that moment. Nothing else. Eventually the bad feeling will go away.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

Regular Member

Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 34
   Posted 2/19/2009 6:48 AM (GMT -6)   
Thanks, I am trying, but I am a constant thinker. If I can stop thinking, or have something pleasant to think about it would help.

When a person feels like there is doom ahead, a person tends to get scared, like when someone is pointing a gun at you. That's what my worries feel like to me.

I cannot seem to get the "person with a gun" type fear out of my head. My life isn't threatened by death, but my future threatens my life, my ability to cope.


getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42612
   Posted 2/19/2009 1:48 PM (GMT -6)   
I use to think a lot. I started taking abilify and it helped me, there is also risperdol. That helps with obsessive thinking. I hope that you can find something to help you.

Have you ever tried meditation? That also clears your mind. It use to be there was never a time that my mind was blank. With the abilify, it is like a weight lifted off of my shoulders. No obsessive thinking anymore.

Best wishes,

Hugs, karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

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