It is interesting that I just posted about
my own loneliness and then read about
yours. I just wanted to let you know that I understand. My case is a bit different because I am lonely after losing a boyfriend of several years. The part of your post that resonated with me the most is that I always hear myself think in my head, "I just want to talk to someone." It's amazing how, as humans, we need that aspect of socialization to feel mentally healthy. That's why I feel it was such a blessing I found this forum, because I can "talk" out my problems and also help others with theirs until I gain that sense of peace and comfort. Please know you are not alone.
I can also relate to having people in your life that are so focused on themselves and their own happiness that they cannot be happy for others. I think it was very inconsiderate that your friend did not show any sympathy when you lost your child, and only showed concern when she herself became pregnant. That must have hurt your feelings so terribly, and I am so sorry.
I do not have very many family members and have tried to get back in touch with cousins I was close to when I was younger but am no longer due to family drama. It hurts when you can only imagine the horrible things someone has said about
you to them, especially when there isn't anything you can do to prove they are not true. However, I try to realize that maybe for some reason, we are just not meant to be a part of each others' lives right now.
Please keep posting. We are here to listen