Hello and I too am glad you found us. I too lost a son to a horrible car crash a long time ago but I still miss him and always will. I adopted the role as the tough person who could handle my loss even thow I cried every day for at least a year. I still cry on bad days when I look at his picture.
Please know I understand your pain, time will dull the pain but you will never forget that one child that is gone.
Grief is a normal and healthy response to loss, not an illness. Its symptoms are painful, but they serve an adaptive purpose. Most grief runs its course with the support of your friends/family. But sometimes grief can trigger depression .
When grief triggers depression, the sadness can be unrelenting and overwhelming. Some people describe it as “living in a black hole” or having a feeling of impending doom. Even when participating in activities you used to enjoy, you feel as if you are just “going through the motions.” You may also feel numb, lifeless and empty.
I would like to encourage you to consider counseling to help you through this painful time. One on one counseling can help you understand your feelings as well as teach you skills to cope with your pain.
I am so sorry about your support system being poor, I was fortunate to have a husband who still supports and holds me when I cry for my son. You have us and we are here for you.