I am new to this and need some good advise please?!

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New Member

Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 2/27/2009 9:50 AM (GMT -6)   
I do not want to make this post a mile long so I will sum up my situation as simply as possible. I am going through a divorce with a man I still love but can not be with because he is drug addicted and after six yrs together still will not stop. I have two daughters by him, a four year old and a one year old. I am currently involved with a man that is only 22 (keep in mind I am 26). This does not seem like a big difference but he has the maturity of a teenager. He is a hard worker and provides well for the girls and myself but he is jealous, controling, mentally abusive, and he provides no security. He says all the time that I can just get out of his house. Well, here's the hard part....We just recently moved into a new house together with my name on the lease. It is a very big house. We dcided to rent one of the extra rooms to my father who is well to do and can have a place of is own easily but he is a truck driver and only needs a place to crash a couple of days a week. I can not work because of my predicament and also because I am a full time student while I care for my two children and also my sisters four year old. I feel like I am losing it and I am at the end of my rope. What do I do? How can I deal with my situation better?

Elite Member

Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 2/27/2009 10:11 AM (GMT -6)   


Welcome to HealingWell and the Depression Forum.  I am sorry you are in this situation.

To be very honest I think you need to  find a good therapist that will help you sort out your issues.

First you need to cut your ties with your husband as you cannot make someone stop using drugs.  You posted " man I still love"

You have moved into a relationship with someone that you do not seem to be happy with and he sounds immature as you have stated.  I would agree with you, a 22 year old male taking on another man's family including having his SO's Father in the picture would take a very mature person, one that loves you deeply.

Do you love this 22 year old man?  Many years ago I was in a position similar to yours so I can empathize with you.  Please do not think I am judging you in anyway.  It sometimes helps to get the perspective of one who has been there and can look back and see the poor choices made.  I made many but in the end I did meet a wonderful man who married this divorcee with 3 young children and he was only 23 to my 24. We have been married for 37 years now. 

Good things are in your future.

I wish you peace,



Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
&  Moderator GERD  Forums

http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
Peace does not dwell in outward things, but within the soul
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getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42607
   Posted 2/27/2009 12:19 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Breally,

I just wanted to welcome you to the forum. Kitt has given you some very good advice. A therapist will help you put things into perspective. Your name is on the house lease, so he cannot kick you out. You can kick him out.

I hope that things work out for you. You seem to be trying really hard to keep things together.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

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