I am new to this and need some good advise please?!

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
[ << Previous Thread | Next Thread >> ]

New Member

Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 2/27/2009 8:50 AM (GMT -6)   
I do not want to make this post a mile long so I will sum up my situation as simply as possible. I am going through a divorce with a man I still love but can not be with because he is drug addicted and after six yrs together still will not stop. I have two daughters by him, a four year old and a one year old. I am currently involved with a man that is only 22 (keep in mind I am 26). This does not seem like a big difference but he has the maturity of a teenager. He is a hard worker and provides well for the girls and myself but he is jealous, controling, mentally abusive, and he provides no security. He says all the time that I can just get out of his house. Well, here's the hard part....We just recently moved into a new house together with my name on the lease. It is a very big house. We dcided to rent one of the extra rooms to my father who is well to do and can have a place of is own easily but he is a truck driver and only needs a place to crash a couple of days a week. I can not work because of my predicament and also because I am a full time student while I care for my two children and also my sisters four year old. I feel like I am losing it and I am at the end of my rope. What do I do? How can I deal with my situation better?

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 2/27/2009 9:11 AM (GMT -6)   


Welcome to HealingWell and the Depression Forum.  I am sorry you are in this situation.

To be very honest I think you need to  find a good therapist that will help you sort out your issues.

First you need to cut your ties with your husband as you cannot make someone stop using drugs.  You posted " man I still love"

You have moved into a relationship with someone that you do not seem to be happy with and he sounds immature as you have stated.  I would agree with you, a 22 year old male taking on another man's family including having his SO's Father in the picture would take a very mature person, one that loves you deeply.

Do you love this 22 year old man?  Many years ago I was in a position similar to yours so I can empathize with you.  Please do not think I am judging you in anyway.  It sometimes helps to get the perspective of one who has been there and can look back and see the poor choices made.  I made many but in the end I did meet a wonderful man who married this divorcee with 3 young children and he was only 23 to my 24. We have been married for 37 years now. 

Good things are in your future.

I wish you peace,



Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
&  Moderator GERD  Forums

http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
Peace does not dwell in outward things, but within the soul
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42434
   Posted 2/27/2009 11:19 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Breally,

I just wanted to welcome you to the forum. Kitt has given you some very good advice. A therapist will help you put things into perspective. Your name is on the house lease, so he cannot kick you out. You can kick him out.

I hope that things work out for you. You seem to be trying really hard to keep things together.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
Forum Information
Currently it is Wednesday, June 20, 2018 9:25 AM (GMT -6)
There are a total of 2,973,588 posts in 326,111 threads.
View Active Threads

Who's Online
This forum has 161103 registered members. Please welcome our newest member, jrobinson1289.
436 Guest(s), 12 Registered Member(s) are currently online.  Details
Froggy88, 81GyGuy, mattamx, SlappyHappy, tickbite666, 1000Daisies, NutMeg1987, Darla, Alxander, Hardlyrob, Ashleyann82587, straydog