I feel Like my life is worthless. I'm 20. I've done a lot of terrible things in my life, things I believe can't be forgiven. The thing is I am the biggest hypocrite.
The things that people have done that I hate them for, I grew up doing myself. How can I hate them when I am the same way? I tried punishing myself, I left my room the next morning and my mom asks what happened , she asks was I in a fight, I said no I woke up like this, hoping that she would question me further. She says to me oh its probably just a sty. Shes a nurse, I thought for sure she would figure it out. I wanted her too. I am completely honest on here. But out in the world I sometimes lie for enjoyment. I make up the craziest things just for attention. Who does that. I feel as if I am evil candy coated, like theres this dark part of me inside and everyone else just sees someone else. I feel like I am going crazy for real. At least four nights out of the week I don't even sleep. I can't. It's like every memory, decision, event haunts me. I just don't know any more.
My name is Jake and I know entirely way too much.
1. No discussion of any illegal activity or threats of violence. (ie. illicit drug use, including medical marijuana use, threats of suicide or self-injury, or threatened or intended physical harm). Discussions of suicide or self-harm that are deemed negative and therefore potentially injurious to others are also not permitted.
Post Edited By Moderator (stkitt) : 3/6/2009 6:37:36 AM (GMT-7)