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New Member

Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 3/6/2009 5:04 AM (GMT -6)   
I feel Like my life is worthless. I'm 20. I've done a lot of terrible things in my life, things I believe can't be forgiven. The thing is I am the biggest hypocrite.
The things that people have done that I hate them for, I grew up doing myself. How can I hate them when I am the same way? I tried punishing myself,  I left my room the next morning and my mom asks what happened , she asks was I in a fight, I said no I woke up like this, hoping that she would question me further. She says to me oh its probably just a sty. Shes a nurse, I thought for sure she would figure it out. I wanted her too. I am completely honest on here. But out in the world I sometimes lie for enjoyment. I make up the craziest things just for attention. Who does that. I feel as if I am evil candy coated, like theres this dark part of me inside and everyone else just sees someone else. I feel like I am going crazy for real. At least four nights out of the week I don't even sleep. I can't. It's like every memory, decision, event haunts me. I just don't know any more.
any help?
My name is Jake and I know entirely way too much.
1. No discussion of any illegal activity or threats of violence. (ie. illicit drug use, including medical marijuana use, threats of suicide or self-injury, or threatened or intended physical harm).  Discussions of suicide or self-harm that are deemed negative and therefore potentially injurious to others are also not permitted.

Post Edited By Moderator (stkitt) : 3/6/2009 6:37:36 AM (GMT-7)

Elite Member

Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 3/6/2009 8:42 AM (GMT -6)   

Dear Jake

Welcome to HealingWell and the Depression.  I am sorry for the edit but  in accordance with our rules I had to take out some of your post but I do believe the content is intact.  :)

I would like to see you talk with your Mother and discuss your feelings and issues with her.  She is a nurse and should be able to understand what your going through and help you find some professional help.

You are not a bad person, and with help I think you will begin to understand more about depression and how it works.

You would benefit greatly from seeing your physician and getting a dx so you know if you truly have depresssion or perhaps something else medical is going on.

Please keep talking to us and remember we do not judge here, we just offer support and caring.



Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
&  Moderator GERD  Forums

*~* *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
Peace does not dwell in outward things, but within the soul
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 2317
   Posted 3/6/2009 10:02 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Jake,
Welcome to HW! Sorry you are feeling the way you are. I don't know what all you've done, but I think everything can be forgiven. Sometimes there are consequences to our actions, but that doesn't mean they are unforgivable.

Have you seen a counselor? Maybe that would be a good place to start if you feel you can't talk to your mother. I have definitely known people who used do things just to get attention & who lied a lot and they have gotten help for it & gotten better. It was a lot of hard work, but they are really pretty nice people today who are as trustworthy as anyone else. And they have stopped hurting themselves which is really good.

Of course, we are here to support you too. Like Kitt said, there are some rules to follow, but most topics are okay for discussion. I do hope you find some help so you can start to feel better. :)


New Member

Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 17
   Posted 3/6/2009 11:03 AM (GMT -6) a chaplain I want you to know that anything may be forgiven...I believe that there are not "evil" people , but people that make bad choices from time to is available to with your mom and see if she has insurance that will help pay for counseling...if she does not then go to any church and ask for help....please think about my a person with bi-polar I know that long days do occur, so I am not just chatting with you for fun...God Bless you and stay safe

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42609
   Posted 3/6/2009 11:59 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Jake,

Welcome to HealingWell. I am so happy that you have joined us.

It takes a lot of guts to admit that you lie for attention. And this is a starting point for you to heal.

Please stay with us, we are here to help you.

Hugs, karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

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