I am getting off my Lyrica because I have been taking it for 15 months and I cant tell anything anymore, if its even helping or not since I still feel bad..so Im weaning off right now in order to determine whether or not its worth taking it. Its been 2 weeks. Withdrawal has been beating me down horribly. for the past week I have been taking 225mg once every other day and The day that I skip it I feel okay because I had a dose the day before. BUT, the day I have to wait all day before I can take it...thats ROUGH on me. (thats today) I dont want to get out of bed, I dont want to go to school, I want to sleep, I feel really hot/flushed, very tired, I will be super hot/cold on the inside and the exact opposite on the outside. (cold while sweating, or hot with chills!) Its been horrible. But, I like the idea of becoming "clean" so to speak...
If I cant tell that its working, I just assume get off it for a while and see how things go...I can always get back on it if I choose to. Also, I have been thinking about
my doctor about
getting on the newly approved med, Savella(think thats it)
But, anyways, things just havent been good for me. Im plagued with random thoughts that are either negative or bad. (Karen I'll email you when I get home)
I just dont feel very..........worth anything, I suppose thats how I'd explain it... yea yea, you all will tell me how strong I am, or smart, and all that great stuff, and I appreciate it. But, its hard for me to see that a lot of the time. I know Im strong. I know I am smart. But, sometimes I feel like thats not enough or its not everything to me...even though it can take me as far as I wish to go...
Sometimes I ask myself "whats the point"? Why does it even matter? I feel I can accept any consequences that come to me...
Sometimes I dont make smart decisions. And I should be disappointed in myself for that, but the truth is... I just say "whatever" and brush it off. Its like I have a total disregard for myself anymore. I used to be so afraid of like ending up in a hospital or something because I would let me get to me. If that makes sense. But, now I just say "whatever" and I do whatever I want to do and I may be heading in that direction, but I dont care. Honestly, at this point it would almost be a good thing! Or so thats how I feel...... I dont even seem to care..
Karen, I do want to talk about
some things more than this, so I will email you when I get home in about
Lyrica(15 months,but working on get out right now) and Paxil(about 6+- months)
Fibromyalgia, Depression, Anxiety, Panic Attacks-currently in therapy
"Cracks in the concrete are just reminders that you fall apart
no matter how strong you are"
"Sometimes it is best to forget what you feel and remember what you deserve"
"Im going to
smile like nothing is wrong, talk like everything is perfect, act like its all a dream, and pretend its not hurting me."