Depression and possible perimenopause

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New Member

Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 3/9/2009 1:54 PM (GMT -6)   
My wife and I had a marriage everyone was jealous of for 22 years. Less than a year ago she says she isn't happy now. Lost the desire to do as much around the house. Started drinking more. Hanging around with other wives who were having marital problems. Spending more money trying to stay young. Listening to younger music. Now she is not sure if she is in love with me but says she still loves me. Sex is now every two weeks when she is about ready to burst when it used to be every 2 or 3 days. Used to be more exotic as well. Now just jump on and orgasm. I originally and maybe still think it's perimenopause and probably combined with depression. We're seeing a marriage counselor and when asked what would make her happy she said she doesn't know. Depression and anxiety run in her family. Did the blood tests to find out about perimenopause after going off the birth control for a week and hormones checked out although she has every symptom ther is. So did thyroid test. I understand that the blood test is unreliable for perimenopause. She exercises a lot and is on birth control so I'm thinking that she might have been in perimenopause for a couple years already but slightly masked. Going to the doc today for an antidepressant. Hopefully Wellbutrin from what I've read. Any comments are welcome.

getting by
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Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42608
   Posted 3/9/2009 2:09 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Christasells,

Welcome to HealingWell and the depression forum. I am so happy that you have joined us. You will definately get some advice here.

It could be a combination of both depression and perimenopause. So that is kind of normal. Is it her that is going on the welbutrin or you? Either way, I hope that it works.

When women get depressed, often their sex drive goes down. So that is normal and it could just be her age. Things do slow down in a marraige over time. Some are luckier than others. I am fifty and my drive finally slowed down. But I have fibromyalgia and am always in pain so sex gets kind of hard for me. Pardon the pun...

I hope that you and your wife can work things out. I am sure that she still loves you and once on the anti depressants, hopefully you will get things back to normal. It is good that you are going through marraige counseling. Keep trying and try to be there for her. And if this effects you too much, seek counseling for yourself. I hope everything works out for you.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

New Member

Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 3/9/2009 2:43 PM (GMT -6)   


She is going on the antidepressant. Hopefully Wellbutrin as I've read it won't decrease sexual desire and possibly increase it. More energy would be good as well. She is already a size 0 but has been concerned about her belly fat. We're the parents of two and I understand that she might lose weight on Wellbutrin.

Thanks for your reply.


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