moonman, welcome to the forum glad you found us, you are worth it! GOD loves us all, he's got a plan for everyone including you. Don't loose hope with therapy and conseling, it doesn't usually work right away, it needs time and patience. you have received good advice from the members here. I have bin fighting depression for 9 years and it's a continues fight. you have to build your patience and tolerance slowly. also make sure you don't have other problems like hypertension etc, try and record your blood pressure and see if it's abnormal, check your sugar levels, thyroid function ( blood test ) , B12 because these all can affect your mood, stability and energy. myself I discovered my thyroid function is not working well so I started taking medicine for that, now it's at the normal level and I feel better, since then I even stoped taking my anti-depresant zoloft and I don't feel any depression at the moment, well nothing serius anyway, you can't fully get rid of depression it's part of our brain really.