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Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 1303
   Posted 3/12/2009 2:16 PM (GMT -6)   
So, I was wondering, before and after you have depression, how do you connect with people?
Before depression and such, I could connect with people. I had "best friends" that I would do stuff with and not a worry in the world.
NOW, I dont connect with people AT ALL. Im like a "loner". I can talk more to people I've known my whole life as opposed to best friends I've had for 6 or 7 years... My current friends dont feel like "friends" they just feel like people in my life. The friend 'quality' is lost because I dont connect to them.
I feel this is a problem because its hard for me to let people in and explain to them how I am, etc. I think people I have known longer would see the changes in me more than someone I have only been friends with for a couple years or whatever... ya know?
Its just hard for me to see the people around me. Like I pass people in the halls, but they really arent there, its just me, the loner..
That seems so stupid to me...but I just cant CONNECT with ANYONE and its VERY upsetting. I have a HUGE GREAT WALL OF CHINA standing in front of me and no way to get over it.
Can anyone relate? What am I supposed to do....?  (thats for the support)
Lyrica(15 months,but working on get out right now) and Paxil(about 6+- months)
Fibromyalgia, Depression, Anxiety, Panic Attacks-currently in therapy
"Cracks in the concrete are just reminders that you fall apart no matter how strong you are"
"Sometimes it is best to forget what you feel and remember what you deserve"
    "Im going to smile like nothing is wrong, talk like everything is perfect, act like its all a dream, and pretend its not hurting me."

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42609
   Posted 3/12/2009 3:03 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Christi,

I don't think that anything is wrong with you. You are just not into people that much. There is nothing wrong with being a loner. I am that way. I have friends that I see once in a while, but not all of the time. We go through changes as we get older and that is just a part of life. You will have phases where you desire human contact more and times where you are into the things that you like to do by yourself. Though depression causes us to withdraw from people, you don't necessarily have to be depressed to want to be alone.

Does it bother you that you are that way? If so, then I would be more concerned. But if it doesn't really bother you, that means that is just the type of person that you are and there is nothing wrong with that.

I think that our moods change, there will be times in the summer especially that I am around people more, almost daily. But in the winter, I don't care to go anywhere and I keep to myself, but I am fine with that.

I hope that you can figure this out, try not to be so hard on yourself. You are a great person, whether you hang out with others or not.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

Elite Member

Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 3/12/2009 5:52 PM (GMT -6)   

Hi Christi,

I have the same feelings as you do. I used to have so many friends but now I have only one and we are good friends but not really close. I am much older then you and I see groups of women out to lunch or shopping and I realize they have made their group of friends so where does one find new friends that are willing to add someone to their group?

I am friendly and outgoing when I am out yet I am waiting for someone to say let's get together sometime.  I have initiated some lunch dates with old friends and we did get together but they do not call back to set up any other plans.

I feel alone in a crowd. 

You are young, so please don't  give up on finding new friends.

Hugs to you



Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
&  Moderator GERD  Forums

*~* *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
Peace does not dwell in outward things, but within the soul
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources

Veteran Member

Date Joined Feb 2005
Total Posts : 616
   Posted 3/12/2009 8:58 PM (GMT -6)   
same here, there was a time that friends were everything to me , and had to see them very frequently, like every weekend. now I'm more like a looner, doesn't bother me though, unless I have to go work abroad where I will be loonly, now I'm living with my parents and have close relatives living near by that I get in touch with and I feel ok. my friends almost never call me except one who I actually avoid lol.

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New Member

Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 8
   Posted 3/12/2009 11:06 PM (GMT -6)   
The only friends I have left are the ones I work with and that's because I have to see them everyday at work.My best friend that I had all through school and many years after wards only lives 15 minutes and had a baby over a year ago and I still haven't went to see them.I try to hide my problems from my friends for fear of what they may think towards me but I know that if they are true friends they would support me.I just can't bring myself to talk to them.If you can them open up to them and see what happens,if they hang around then they are friends and know they will be there for anything.
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