Haven't posted in a month and truly need help now

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Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1257
   Posted 3/14/2009 3:14 PM (GMT -6)   
I haven't been on the forum for at least a month due to some very difficult situations.  about a month ago I was coming up my front brick walkway and somehow caught my shoe and fell so fast and hard I didn't have time to put out my hands to break the fall.  I landed on my face.  20 stitches in my face, broken bone in left hand, dislocated shoulder and bruises from head to toe. Some bruises are still there. I hurt my knee that I had surgery on a while ago and hope I don't have to have another surgery. I was just getting caught up with medical bills from being so sick last year and now have a ton more.  I just didn't have the energy to post but I am not sure anyone noticed that I hadn't been on the forum.  This past Wed. my son had a very bad auto accident.  How he survived is a miracle.  When the paramedics came one of them said to him "God was on your side today." I was called and rushed to the ER where they took him.  He was on his way to work and hit a large patch of black ice ( if you live in the Midwest you will know what I mean).  He was not speeding. The car started to slide and unfortunatley he started to brake which made the car slide more and he rolled over 5 times.  That he is alive and not badly hurt is a miracle.  He has whip lash and bruises and aches but they exrayed him top to bottom and took cat scans so nothing is broken and no problem with internal organs.  His car was new, he bought it from money his Grandma left him and he was so proud of that car and took such good care of it. He is having nightmares and trouble sleeping.  He saw his PCP the next day and the dr told him it would be best for him to get back to work as soon as he was up to it and to start driving soon so he doesn't develop any fears.  I think he will be OK.  He wanted to go to work Fri so I drove him and picked him up. I am now dealing with the insurance co, one of the big major ones.  They have insured our cars and houses for at least 30 yrs.  They are so difficult to deal with.  The agent is always nice but the adjusters are a name I can not mention here. I spoke to 2 women adjusters who called me and 2 men and the second man who was in the loss department was so rude and nasty to me I couldn't believe it.  I had to make a claim on my house 3 yrs ago and that adjuster was so bad I told him I refused to deal with him and everything would have to go through the agent.  I told him he had no right to speak to me in such a hostile way and I hung up on him.  I am not meaning to bad mouth the insurance industry but I would like to know from any of you who will answer me what your experiences have been dealing with insurance claims and adjusters.  Have they been civil or have you had problems with them being nasty and rude?  I almost think part of their training is to be rude and to shame you. Obviously the car is totaled but my son is alive and that is all I care about except I do want to get a fair price for the car as it was new and in pristine condition. Anyone who can help me please respond.  I appreciate all the help I can get. Thanking you in advance.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 2317
   Posted 3/14/2009 3:57 PM (GMT -6)   
Sorry to hear about all you've been through. Of course we missed you. You seemed kinda angry the last time you were posting, so I thought maybe you just needed a break, but now I wished I would have tried to reach out to you.

The best you can do right now is talk to your agent about the way the adjusters are treating you. They are trained to deny, but I think the guilt trips and such are just part of the personalities of a lot of the adjusters that are hired. Try not to worry about what they say to you. Write out the facts, make a list of what you want & then stick to that. If they start to side-track you with guilt trips, just explain that you have limited time & would like to offer any information they may need to make their determination, but that you expect them to be polite & respectful in dealing with you and that if they have an issue with that you will need to ask the Department of Insurance to get involved.

They are not likely to be nice to you in any scenario (and they're not required to be nice), but hopefully they will at least be civil and make a quick determination on the claim. It is a fairly straight-forward process that is based on only 2 things - 1) was someone at fault for the accident & if so, who? and 2) what does your policy require them to pay out?
If they're still being uncooperative, you will need to make a choice as to whether to continue dealing with them or whether to get either the Dept. of Insurance or an attorney involved in your case (but don't mention the attorney to them until you already have one lined up, it will only make things worse on you).

good luck,

Elite Member

Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 3/14/2009 4:02 PM (GMT -6)   

"I am not sure anyone noticed that I hadn't been on the forum."

Dear Sweet Aurora,

You were missed of course as you are family here  and not posting is not unusual for many as they go away for a bit on vacation or are busy but I wish you could have posted as we would have been sending you as much love and hugs as you could have handled.

I hope all your injuries heal well and you need no further  surgery but perhaps some PT is all. 

I am sure you were scared to death for your son but also I know  you were  so grrateful that your son was OK.  Yes, I know black ice well...............I am from the midwest too.  You just don't see it, it is there under your tires before you have time to realize it is black ice.

I had a friend that totaled her car and the insurance company wanted to have it fixed.  It had high miles on it besides. That was a battle but in the end she won and they did total it out so she could buy a new one.  So persistance in the key when working with the insurance companies.

You have all my prayers and support. Take care of you and I am so happy your son is ok. 





Kitt, Co-Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
&  Moderator GERD  Forums

http://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
Peace does not dwell in outward things, but within the soul
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42610
   Posted 3/14/2009 7:54 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Aurora,

I am sorry for all that you have just been through. Though I am happy that you and your son are both okay. Ice scares me. I would be walking around the block, but fell on some black ice once and really messed up my arm. So I am afraid to go out. I will wait until the pavement is dry.

We had a beautiful day here today. The sun was out all day and it was warmer than it has been. We still have a lot of snow here, but it is starting to melt.

I hope that you continue to feel better and I hope that your son feels better too.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

Veteran Member

Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 1768
   Posted 3/14/2009 10:40 PM (GMT -6)   

I understand how you just get to where all bills are paid, then something happens and you've got hospital bills all over again. It's a frustrating cycle sometimes. But the important thing is that you are ok, and your son is ok after your accidents. That's sometimes the only shining point in it all, and we have to remind ourselves how lucky we are to have family.

I hope all works out well with the insurance company. I haven't had many problems with my company, but have heard horror stories. Hang in there and be strong. Sometimes you just have to put your foot down and be insistant with them.

Update us soon and let us know how things are going! (And also nice to "meet" you)

31 yr old female-dx with Crohn's in '97 after emergency resection and appendectomy, 2nd resection '05
Currently on Humira, Prilosec, Effexor, Seroquel, Calcium, Vit D, sublingual B12; phenergan, ultram, clonazepam as needed

Elite Member

Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20279
   Posted 3/15/2009 4:14 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi aurora, i am jamiee, i am on the other side of the world. i too some years ago had a nasty crash down the side of a mountain, it was xmas day, i flipped and flipped, and ended up over a hundred meters in the forest. i am very lucky to be here. I sold what was left of my truck to a bushy on the mountain. It took 2 four wheel drivers and 1 extremely large dozer to pull out my 3 tonne truck. too avoid the hassle of those dreaded insurance people i sold it, took the plates in and left it at that.
In regards to you, i hope you are ok. i am glad that your son is ok also. I am relatively new to this community thus i send you a warm g'day. if i can be of help please let me know. me struggling with debts too. one step forward each day is another step conqured the next. i send love and compassion to you via the universe, techniquely the internet!
regards jamiee. 37, male, iddm, hormone deficiency, endogenous depression, severe borderline personality disorder-and some bits and peices!

Veteran Member

Date Joined Feb 2005
Total Posts : 616
   Posted 3/15/2009 7:13 AM (GMT -6)   
aurora, offcourse you are mised here, I thought you needed sometime for yourslef to think through. I'm so sad to hear about your accidents, it's a terrible thing but on the bright side at least you both are still here alive and kicking it could have gone worse rememebr that.

good luck with the inssurance thing, keep patient there will always be a way out of this :)

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