Needing time away from your son does not in any way make you a bad mother. So don't even go there with your thinking. But you are now in a situation where your life has changed. He will be a part of your life for a long time to come. And if you can bring your mind to accept that, it will make your life so much better.
I think that with the weather getting nicer, you will be able to get out and enjoy some sunshine days. Everything will look better. I think that the overall situation will look better to you.
There is a very good chance that the meds aren't working. Or you might need an adjustment or a change. It takes time to find what is right for you. Ask him about
abilify, that is what I take and it is fantastic. It works for bipolar and it is a mood stabilizer too. I take it for obsessive thinking and it helps me to live in the moment. It doesn't change you or make it so that you don't feel anything. You just feel good. But that is me, I don't know if it works that way for everybody.
I hope that you can feel better. Do you have somebody close or a relative that could take your son for a few days to give you a break? I think it would really help you if you did.
Keep trying, you are going to be feeling better soon.
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies