Welcome to HealingWell and that is just what we do here is heal.
I see in your post that you did recognize you were being abused by the first man but this new one is abusing you too.
Emotional abuse is the most common form of abuse - & yet least talked about. Part of the reason it is so easy for people to overlook is that so that much of what is considered normal & acceptable forms of communication is in fact abusive. Many people don't know that they have been - or are being - emotionally abused. In addition, a lot of emotional abuse doesn't appear to be severe or dramatic, although its effects can be.
Emotional abuse is a series of repeated incidents - whether intentional or not - that insults, threatens, isolates, degrades, humiliates and/or controls another person.
It may include a pattern of one or more of the following abuses: insults, criticisms, aggressive demands or expectations, threats, rejection, neglect, blame, emotional manipulation & control, isolation, punishment, terrorizing, ignoring, or teasing.
Emotional abuse cuts to the core of a person, attacking their very being. Emotional abuse, if frequent enough, is usually internalized by the victim & leaves them feeling fearful, insignificant, unworthy, untrusting, emotionally needy, undeserving & unlovable & as if they were bad, deserving of punishment & to blame.
My best advice is lose the current guy as he is using you and manipulating you right into the bed. If he has Issues he owns them and you are not his therapy.
Do look into getting some therapy and learning to love yourself first and also try to stop the obsession that you must have a man in your life to complete you. That is only in the movies. Let fate take care of meeting the right man at the right time. It will happen but make sure you increase your self esteem and know you are a worthy person.
Take care and know we are here for you.