So....I'm 21 years old....I have never been officially diagnosed as depressed.....BUT....I am...and I just need a little support.
I've been with my boyfriend for over 6 years....and its killing me. I love him with all of my heart, but I get no love in return. I get shot down, constantly.
I'm just not good enough.
Everything I say or do is wrong, wrong, wrong.
I used to when I was younger. Not to die...just to take the focus off of the emotional pain. I'll take physical pain over a breaking heart any day.
I was good for a while. I tried real hard to be happy and cheerful and optomistic...but it's falling apart.
I'm pretty sure he's cheating....I have some evidence....but when I bring it up he just gets really defensive and turns it around on me.
And I'm the piece of crap.
I'm worthless to him....
I have no friends....I have nothing. I feel like nothing. I don't have a shoulder to lean on. The one person in the world who should be my shoulder could give a crap less about how I feel. He just cuts me to pieces and I feel like I'm regressing.
Because I want to again.
I want to take away this pain.
I'm so tired of being tired and sad and having no motivation.
I feel like giving up.
I really do.
I'm too embarassed to go seek professional help.
Because it's not just him that makes me feel this way.
I can't stand to see what I see in the mirror.
Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 3/25/2009 1:59:32 PM (GMT-6)