What can I say after the wise ones have all spoken. They have given you great advice and insight into your issues.
You know I am one of your huge fans ! :) The obsessive thinking is always a downer. I will start with all of the "what ifs" and sometimes really have to put on the brakes and pull out of the downward spiral. I pull back to staying in the moment.
When we are fully in the present moment our minds are focused on what we are doing and not frantically jumping from the past to the future.
It's really important for myself to be able to stay in the moment. I have found that by avoiding things like dwelling on past or worrying about the future I am usually able to get done what needs to get done when it needs to get done.
If you can learn to stay present in the moment then you can rapidly and gracefully change your life for the better!
Just food for thought my dear friend. You know how much I believe in staying in the moment.
Take care of you and know I am here for you.
Gentle Hugs to you
Hi Erik, I don't want to repeat what others have said. I think we are all too hard on ourselves at one time or another. You mention a counselor you see but you don't think she understands you. Can you find another therapist you can relate to better? The world is not all good nor is it all bad. Things happen that are just random. You are at a low point right now and I truly understand how that feels. You said you have taken some time off and that is good. The best advice I can offer is to take each day as it comes. Don't project into the future, don't go back to the past -it is gone, just concentrate on what is happening this one particular day. Sometimes it is baby steps.You have done a lot in your young years and you have accomplished many things. We all make mistakes. That is something you need to learn to accept and not be so hard on yourself. You have a lot of accomplishments to be proud of. You have many, many friends here who care very much about you. Keep posting and let everyone know how you are doing. We are all here for you to listen and to learn. Keep your chin up. You are a very special, dear person.
Erik, It is so good to hear you sounding more positive. You had a rough week and now it is past and that is where to leave it. Finding a new therapist sounds like the best solution. Your therapist should truly care about you and what is happening in your life. Just keep looking, I think there is someone out there for you. I have seen the same therapist for many years and I have always been able to call her in between sessions and she always calls me back. And when she knows I am having a very hard time she just calls me to be sure I am OK. She was a pillar of strength when my son had his car accident. I don't know how I would have gotten through that terrible time without her help. So, again keep your chin up and positive thoughts. Enjoy the good things in life like the sunshine. Is it going to be tulip season soon where you are? That alone would truly make me happy to see. Take care and know how much I care.