Hey guys, first I have to say this: You guys have no idea how much it means to me that I have your support and that you all are life family and that you spiritually sent me on my way last night! Its so nice to come by today and read what you all wrote for me, its means more than you can imagine, so I thank you VERY much for that!
Now, on to the good stuff! I will admit the other night I really didnt want to go MOSTLY because it was so far out of my comfort zone... thats really the only reason. But, when I woke up yesterday morning I told myself "tomorrow today will just be a bunch of pictures and memories and it will be over". So, all day I did everything with that attitude. I enjoyed ever minute of it knowing that today it would be over and I wouldnt be able to go back and change anything.
So, I dont mind dressing up now and then, proving to people that I am capable of it! lol But, I had fun with all the pictures and being with SO many people all day long. I felt a lot different, I was quiet at times, but I felt a little more out-going. So, when time came for me to walk out in front of the school and all the parents and family at prom, I looked over at my friend and we gave each other a thumbs up and a smile before we walked out together. Leading up to that, I was so nervous, but the good kind! Which I dont remember the last time I've had "good nervousness"!
We walked out and everything went well! After that was over, we danced for several hours! lol It took me a while to adjust to that kind of thing...so many people around me dancing like there was no tomorrow! Having a great time... it was........CRAZY! lol I ordered a video of it which will be cool...
But, I danced, I got low and I jumped up and down, and I moved like I had never moved before! lol I danced with friends, guys and girls, we had a great time and it turned out really well. My date of course had to take breaks....but there was no stopping me! lol My legs were hurting but I was having so much fun I totally dismissed it. And yes, the shoes came off right after walking out! By the time it was over, I was so sore and so tired and it was so loud, but none of that mattered because I had done something I never thought I could.... I was proud of myself for letting go and for a while, I felt normal.
I felt like I had a life. A rare moment of happiness actually occurred.
No after parties for me... I was exhausted by the time we left, everyone was! So, we all retired to bed. I had some friends crash at my place and we went to bed a little after 2... I got up early this morning and stayed up reading posts on here and went back to sleep a while later...only to wake up at 5 this afternoon! lol I took a VERY long bath and read my book for school and relaxed. I think I'd have to say that this weekend has been one of the best! Although, it went SO fast.... but, still really good.
I appreciate you guys so much and it means alot that you all got to be here with me for my prom. Its a special thing and you all got to be there with me! That means the world to me. The best part of my night was the last thing that happened before I went to bed. I was about
to go to sleep when I got thirsty so, I got up and I found a note my dad had written me. It said how beautiful he thought I looked and how proud me was of me and that he loved me. My family isnt "verbally expressive" so this isnt something I have really ever heard, so it meant ALOT to me.
So, thats how things went! Im glad I went, I knew I would be in the end....thats just how things occur. But, in the end I walked away with memories, pictures, a good time, and an experience outside my box. Thats reason enough for me. So, Im glad I got to share this moment with you all! Thanks so much!
Lyrica(15 months on, but now officially off of it!) and Paxil(about 6+- months)
Fibromyalgia, Depression, Anxiety, Panic Attacks-currently in therapy
"Cracks in the concrete are just reminders that you fall apart
no matter how strong you are"
"Sometimes it is best to forget what you feel and remember what you deserve"
"Im going to
smile like nothing is wrong, talk like everything is perfect, act like its all a dream, and pretend its not hurting me."