New to the site. Just thought it was time to reach out to somebody, and I'm too embarrassed, ashamed, mistrusting to approach anyone I know. I've been battling depression most of my life, and all of my adult life. I'm 26 now, and have been on and off multiple types of medication for depression and anxiety for the past five years. I probably should have been taking something for much longer than that, probably since I was 13 or so, but I was too proud to ask for or accept help. You'll see this as a recurring theme.
I'm a relatively intelligent person. Graduated HS in the top 10% of my class. Attended architecture school at a prestigious university (top 10 in the field). I've been three credits short of graduating for the past three years now, partially due to my depression, partially due to uncontrollable financial circumstances and relocating.
I was working at a large firm for about
a year, and for a while I thought I was kind of happy, that my life was going in the right direction and that I was finally going to be able to overcome my own doubts and turn my life into what I know I am capable of, and in some ways the life that I feel I have earned. around eight months ago, I was laid of as the company downsized multiple times and finally shut down. After three months of searching for a job with no luck, I moved back across the country to live with my parents.
After six months living back in the state with the (statistically) worst economy in the nation, my unemployment benefits have run out, and I feel like I have officially hit rock bottom. I am also unable to afford health insurance and the last of my medication ran out months ago. With a few thousand dollars worth of outstanding credit card debt, and student loans on top of that, I don't know what to do. I've sent hundreds of resumes to firms around the world. It hurts to even wake up in the morning.
Worst of all, I'm not even sure that I want to be an architect anymore, especially in this economy when nobody is building and probably wont be much in the next decade. I have a strong grasp of science and engineering, but my heart lies in design and art. My entire immediate family works in accounting and most of my extended family does too. I really don't have any career connections through my family, and I have burned most of my bridges with old classmates and professors, vastly due to my social anxiety and awkwardness.
I'm mostly here venting, because I need to get this out of my head. But if anyone would like to share some advice or their own experience, I would be glad to hear from you.
Post Edited (AnonyMoosez) : 4/1/2009 4:29:19 PM (GMT-6)