Good Mornig SD,
I am sorry you had the meltdown at school and I can identify with that as I have melted in public more then once. Please do not beat yourself up about feeling sad. I have had depression for tweenty some years now and I know that you will have good days, weeks, years ahead of you so with a lot of support and hopefully some therapy you will start to feel better soon.
Have you ever tried meditation?
We often waste way too much of our time and energy focusing on what we don't like, what we're worried about, or what we think needs to be fixed, changed, or enhanced.
There are great things happening in your life and around you all the time.
Celebrate the good stuff around you, in others, and in yourself.
Choose a quiet spot where you will not be disturbed by other people or by the telephone.
Sit quietly in a comfortable position.
Eliminate distractions and interruptions during the period you'll be meditating.
Commit yourself to a specific length of time and try to stick to it.
Pick a focus word or short phrase that's firmly rooted in your personal belief system. A non-religious person might choose a neutral word like one, peace, or love. Others might use the opening words of a favorite prayer from their religion such as 'Hail Mary full of Grace', "I surrender all to you", "Hallelujah", "Om", etc.
Close your eyes. This makes it easy to concentrate.
Relax your muscles sequentially from head to feet. This helps to break the connection between stressful thoughts and a tense body. Starting with your forehead, become aware of tension as you breathe in. Let go of any obvious tension as you breathe out. Go through the rest of your body in this way, proceeding down through your eyes, jaws, neck, shoulders, arms, hands, chest, upper back, middle back and midriff, lower back, belly, pelvis, buttocks, thighs, calves, and feet.
Breathe slowly and naturally, repeating your focus word or phrase silently as you exhale.
Assume a passive attitude. Don't worry about how well you're doing. When other thoughts come to mind, simply say, "Oh, well," and gently return to the repetition.
Continue for 10 to 20 minutes. You may open your eyes to check the time, but do not use an alarm. After you finish: Sit quietly for a minute or so, at first with your eyes closed and later with your eyes open. Do not stand for one or two minutes.
Plan for a session once or twice a day.
Take care and keep on talking to us. We are here for you.
I wish you peace,
Anxiety/Panic & Depression
*~* https://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
Peace does not dwell in outward things, but within the soul
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources