I don't know where to start just because I feeling pretty down. Maybe by letting my emotions out will make me feel better. So this might sound like a bunch of gibberish but it's just my thoughts.
For the past 2 weeks, I haven't been myself. I feel like I am unhappy with anything or anyone. There is nothing bad going on in my life. My family loves me, I have a wonderful boyfriend who I am being mean to constantly, great friends, great job. But why, why am I feeling so down like nothing is going right for me?
I get like this once in a while. For a couple of weeks or a month I am completely fine and then all of the sudden my mood changes and I hate myself. about 6 months ago, I started going to a clinical doctor and he prescribed me "abilify". I took it for about a month and a half and then stopped because I felt like it was giving me anxiety. Abilify worked great for me beisdes the anxiety part. It made me feel happy again. After I stopped taking abilify I went into depression again on and off. I tried different medication and none of them worked for me. So my doctor decided to put me back on Abilify and perscirbe anxiety medication as well. I started to take it but this time it made me feel different. I felt like a zombie. My emotions were completely gone and I didn't feel a thing. I didn't care about anybody or anything. Nothing mattered to me. I hated how I felt because every time I met a guy and decided to date him, I did not feel any connection and would just end it. I felt like I couldn't feel any love, emotion being on Abilify. I got off of it again and here I am now going through one of my blue days. Mainly I am feeling sad because I for some reason lost my feelings for my current boyfriend. It's like one day I feel that connection and I just want to be with him, and then next, I ask myself why am I with him because I don't feel any kind of emotions towards him. As soon as he gives me space, I come running back to him because I feel better. Has that happened to anyone? I don't know what's wrong with me but I know that something is just not right with me. I feel like no one likes me and I feel like just staying home lay on my couch and just stare at my walls and think about nothing at all. I don't want to talk to anyone or be bothered by anyone. I just want time to myself. What's different about my sad days this time is, I haven't been able to get out of this mood for two weeks now. It usually doesn't last this long. Maybe a few days but this time I just can't seem to get out of it. I try to make myself busy and be involved with my friends, go to places but I just wear a happy mask and inside I am not happy. Every time I hang out my bf I am completely mean. I get irritated and I talk back and argue over little things. I don't want to be around him because I feel like I don't like him but I know this is not how I really feel, it's not me feeling this way.
Has anybody felt this way? And what did you do? Please help. Thank you so much! Me