I've been reading through your posts again, and thinking about this situation and how you must be feeling. I think you should give yourself as much time as you need to be angry and sad, as long as you are releasing those feelings as they come and not holding onto them or letting them build. It’s perfectly understandable, and anyone carrying as much love and hope in their heart would need time to accept the circumstances and move on. Please be patient with yourself, and know that it takes as long as it takes.
I understand why you would be angry with God and feel that He has forsaken you, but perhaps looking at it this way might help: You want more than anything for your son to be happy. God has shown your son who this woman truly is and what her problems are, prior to marriage, and your son has had the opportunity to make a choice for himself. Your son has chosen to move on with his life, because he has seen that his chances for happiness with this woman are slim to none. Only God knows why they became involved in the first place, but maybe there is an important lesson in this for your son, and this lesson will guide him and help him to choose his true life partner when the time is right.
You have said that your son’s fiancée is emotionally unstable, and emotionally disconnected, and is hurting more than your son is at this time. To me, that shows that even in your anger and sadness, you are able to see that this woman has problems and pain, and is in need of healing herself. I realize that it is much too soon right now for you to put this painful situation aside, but someday down the road you may get to a point where you can forgive this woman for what she has done, and see that she has a lot of work to do on herself before she is able to commit in a healthy way to anyone. Like Karen said, it sounds like she may be the type who sabotages her own happiness, and that is truly sad indeed.
It sounds like your son is doing well, despite the obvious grief he must be dealing with, and I hope you can find some comfort in his strength and his ability to move forward.
I understand, as many of us do here, how difficult it is to deal with pain and sadness when you have too few distractions. I think your idea about increasing your volunteer work is a good one. Even though I don’t know the specifics of your work, I do know that doing things to benefit others is a wonderful and soothing balm to the heart. By giving, we are receiving…..and I hope that your activities will give you some respite from your grief.
Please keep us posted. I wish you and your son the very best.