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Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1257
   Posted 4/19/2009 11:09 AM (GMT -7)   
Dear Kitt,  I am so sorry to hear about what your son is going through right now.  I can only imagine how hard it is for you being so far away.  I know from my experience that you can't talk to the other person.  It does no good and only stirs the pot even more and brings out the worst in people.  So the best advice I can give is just support your son as much as you can and always be willing to talk to him and just let him say whatever he wants to tell you.  I usually just listen and give support.  I only give advice if my son asks for it.  They often don't want to hear advice that they are not ready for and they mostly want to handle the situation in their own way.  It is hard but I just bite my tongue.  It helps to get in the shower and scream where no one can hear you. I also find getting out of the house and just walking helps.  I live near Lake Michigan so I just drive over there and walk and walk.  It seems to have a calming influence and helps me clear my mind.As mothers we hurt so for our children even though they are adults.  I wish I could take away all the pain from my son and deal with it myself but of course I  can't.  And he is truly doing much better.  He sees things so clearly and he knows in his heart the marriage would never have worked.  Thank heavens we didn't have a wedding and spent all that money.  He will eventually meet the right one for him. He is keeping busy and finding activities he can do this summer.  I wish you the best and hope that things will turn out OK for your son.  If there is anything else I can do to support you please know I am here.
Many gentle hugs,
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