Dear Wonderful Frances,
I know how you feel as I took early retirement from my dream job in 2006 due to my depression and major melt down. My immediate boss knew what was going on with me and she never went to bat for me or reminded me that I had all kinds of benefits I could have tapped into, my short term disability for one. She accepted my resignation and hired my replacement before I was out the door. You see it was much cheaper to let me go and hire someone at half my salary. So I ended up losing my goal of working until I was 62 and had to start burning my pension money to live on.
With the market the way it has been I have lost over 1/2 my retirement in 3 years. I was never offered a less stressful job which my boss offered to other managers that asked to step down. I beat myself up pretty bad mentally for being such a loser and someone my boss would let go so easy. I had an exemplary work record. So I cried and hid out at home for months. I did not want to see anyone as they always asked if I was still running the ER. No I was not, in fact I felt so rejected I would cry just at the thought of being seen in public. My self esteem went in the garbage.
I know how devestated you feel. (((((HUGS)))))
Last September a friend of mine called me and said there was an ad for a substitute school nurse in the local paper...........so I sent in my resume' and nothing, I heard nothing. Then in December I received a letter from the school district telling me when orientation was for the school nurse position. WOW................I thought I was over qualified with 26 years ER and I was to old but all of a sudden I was going to an orientation.
They hired 4 of us and for me I was back doing what I do well, I was a nurse again only in a different field. The pay is OK and I have been kept pretty busy. I can pick and choose if I want to work and which school and the best part was I could decrease the amount of money I had to take out of my pension plan to live on every month. I am off summers and holidays.
It took me a long time to remember that the job was not who I was, I had to work at getting my confidence back but to this day I still hate it when people ask if I still work at the hospital but now I can say with pride, no, I work for the School District.
So that is my story. Yes I did apply for other jobs and I was offered several, one as a department manager at Walmart but I turned it down. So my dear Frances, let yourself grieve for your loss of your job as it was part of who you are but only a small part. You are the sum of so many wonderful things and Lady Luck will swing your way. Be kind to yourself and keep talking to us.
With love and hugs,
*~* https://www.healingwell.com/donate *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
Peace does not dwell in outward things, but within the soul
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